Tag Archives: the fucking NRA

Fuck Steve Scalise

Rep. Steve Scalise was shot just a while ago; at this writing it is unclear how serious his injuries may be.

We extend our sincere sympathies toward his family.

Having said that, fuck Rep. Steve Scalise.

The Congressman, who is so dim as to have once “accidentally” attended a Klan rally, receives an A+ rating from the NRA. He most certainly will be [could have been] counted on to help pass the latest Congressional piece of shit, the Hearing Protection Act of 2017, which –despite your first and obvious thought– is NOT about hearing aids, but rather will relax restrictions on firearm silencers.

That’s right, Scalise has consistently enabled legislation making it easier for whatever asshole shot (and possibly killed 1) him today to go out and purchase whatever weapon tickled his fancy. We would say that Eiron is chortling even now, but the sad truth is that America has long ago moved past irony regarding its lunatic love affair with guns.

Again, we feel for Scalise’s family but can not help but wonder if his wife is having a Clytemnestra moment.

“By the sword you did your work, and by the sword you die.”

Yep – fuck Steve Scalise.

Fuck Steve Scalise

Show 1 footnote

  1. Even should the representative survive, his life –not to mention his family’s– will be forever altered in ways he can not yet imagine.

re Mukilteo, Washington

If we’re down with killing kindergartner’s, fuck a buncha 19-year olds.

See here.

See here.

And here.

And here.

And here.

And here.

Or here or here or here or here or here or…you get the idea.

There’s no sense in writing anther damned word about America’s insane love affair with guns; we’re not Australia, we won’t do the right thing. 1 2

Orlando Pulse nightclub shooting

Show 2 footnotes

  1. Instead we’ll continue to ignore the situation, hoping it will just go away. Hey – it’s worked so far… Right?
  2. And now, just to add some “flavor” to what has so far been a monomaniacal theme, anti-gay!

ReThug Insanity

Yesterday the ReThugs left little doubt in whose pay they are – the fuckin’ NRA’s.

Similarly Paul Ryan revealed his grand plan for the ReThugs in Congress: Do Nothing. That’s right, Ryan feels yet another 8 years of Congressional inaction is exactly what the country wants and needs. After all, how can you argue with proven failure? And if you’re not going to do the People’s business, there’s no need to have CSPAN recording every little inaction, n’est-ce pas?

Better yet, Ryan had the ReThugs pass an appropriations bill at 3:00 AM this morning 1 –allowing no discussion before hand– then adjourned the session two days early for the July 4th holiday, all to stop the 15-hour House Democratic sit-in to force a vote on gun control legislation.

The contrasts between the two parties could not be clearer: the ReThug majority not only does nothing (Thoughts and Prayers, doncha know?), they do so in such a way the Dems are prevented from effective action, until all they have left is symbolic protests.

Yesterday once and for all put paid to the lie of “both sides do it.”

One hopes the public at large not only was watching but remembers come November.

ReThug Insanity

Show 1 footnote

  1. Only Thor knows what’s in the damned thing; suppose we’ll find out the bad news down the line…

Guns don’t kill people. Toddlers kill people.

Last year in the United States, toddlers shot themselves or someone else at a rate of about once a week. Through the first four months of 2016, toddler-involved shootings are up nearly 28 percent; since April 20, American toddlers have shot seven people, including a Milwaukee woman who died after sustaining a gunshot wound from her 2-year-old son.

In all, 23 people have been shot by children under 4 years old in 2016, up from 18 at this time last year, the Washington Post reports. In the vast majority of these cases, children accidentally shot themselves: A toddler has fired a bullet into his or her own body 18 times this year. In nine of those cases, the wounds were fatal. Small children have fatally shot other people twice in 2016 — the mother in Milwaukee last week and a 9-year-old boy shot by his younger brother in Alabama in February. These shootings have been concentrated in a handful of states, with Georgia suffering eight since January 2015, while Texas and Mississippi have each seen seven.

Fortunately, there are now more guns in America than human beings. So it shouldn’t be long before the gun-free zones that enable these horrors are finally eliminated.

Guns don't kill people. Toddlers kill people

Bang Bang, Mommy

Great Thor, I haven’t laughed out loud for this long since forever. Well, that’s not true – it was probably just the last time some other fucking moran allowed their small child to shoot them. 1

I’m sure the mother will survive and return to her idiotic ways, probably saying it was lucky her tot hadn’t instead shot some a stranger. Except if she continues with teh stoopid the poor kid will inevitably shoot someone else. And that will also be labeled an “accident” or a “tragedy”.

Bang Bang, Mommy

Show 1 footnote

  1. There’s a rough sort of justice involved in these events – there’s a strong correlation between H. Monastic and gun huggers.

Good Guys With Guns

A father and son were killed in a shootout with another man and his son at a gun store Saturday in Pearl River County’s Henleyfield community.

Pearl River County deputies responding to the shooting on Mississippi 43 about 3:15 p.m. found the store owner and his son dead in the store, Chief Deputy Shane Tucker said.

The owner’s wife was working at the store when two customers, a man and his son, entered to pick up a firearm that had been repaired.

“There was some contention about a $25 fee,” Tucker said.

In an attempt to clear up the dispute, the woman called her husband, who later arrived with his son. An argument ensued between the owners and the customers.

“During this argument, we believe there might have been some pushing and shoving,” Tucker said. “One of the customers and one of the owners produced firearms. We don’t know who shot first.”

All four men were shot. The two customers were airlifted to a hospital with life-threatening injuries, Tucker said.

Even taking into consideration that this happened in Mississippi…Jebus H. Fucking Ke-rist! We are well past irony and even dark satire here.

Good Guys With Guns

Jon Snow Schools Neil McCabe

Q: “Are you proud or ashamed of these numbers?”

A: “I don’t know if I’m ashamed or if I’m proud. It happens, and in a free country, these things happen.”

It is telling this moron had to think about his answer. 1 Most of us would have immediately hung our heads in shame at our own complicity in this madness.

Jon Snow Schools Neil McCabe

Show 1 footnote

  1. Which was painful to watch; one could see the rusty cogs slowly engaging in his head, as though that mental function had gone unused for far too long…

Fan Mail From Some Flounder

10 December 2015

Yo, Nick!

So you say you watch Channel 5 news in the early mornings, right? Have you noticed that every morning for no reason I can think of they move a camera over to the side of Aexis del Cid? And it’s only for 20 seconds or less, which is weird. And sometimes she’s not even talking at all. I don’t get it. Could you ask your frineds down at the station why they do that?

Thanks,
Tony

Fan Mail From Some Flounder

16 December 2015

You post an awful lot of items about drones so maybe you can tell me why the hell I have to register my 10 year-old’s tiny toy drone or pay freaking civil penalties of up to $27,500 and criminal fines of up to $250,000 and/or up to three years of prison time? Shit pisses me off, man.

Shit Pisses Me Off in Lee’s Summit

Fan Mail From Some Flounder

Tony,

As we’ve explained before, just because we’ve had notional tacos with Joel Nichols doesn’t mean we know every, or any, other TV news/weather/sports reader in town. 1 2

And truth to tell we hadn’t noticed the camera shot you spoke of: early mornings we watch the weather then go make our bowl of oatmeal. However this week we made a point of sitting through the entire 4:30 AM broadcast and spotted your McGuffin. To be precise, at some point during the last third of KCTV5’s early morning newscasts, the floor/news director has the switcher operator cut to a camera positioned downstage left/left center and aimed upstage right/right center.

The sole purpose of this shot, in our humble opinion, is to highlight Alexis del Cid’s long legs. At least all this week she was perched upon her elevated chair, left leg crossed over the right, face toward the lens. If memory serves, she didn’t have any copy to read, but sat poised, a slight smile on her face, as another reader voiced some transition or another.

In another popular form of entertainment, this is known as “the money shot.”

Believe it or not, this may well be written into her contract. 3

Or it could just be the floor director was bored with the normal canned shots, hard to say.

HTH,
Nick

Fan Mail From Some Flounder

Shit Pisses Me Off,

Dude, you have to register because your kid’s toy is a fucking dangerous weapon! These things are Obama’s personal assassination tools, you just can’t willy-nilly be giving them to kids to use. Think of what could go wrong – they might get caught in your neighbor’s hair, for instance. Or zoom up to 30,000 feet and get sucked into a Southwest Airlines JetBlue’s turbine, thereby rebooting 1977’s Airport, but starring REAL PEOPLE! 4 Worse, it might zip across State Line 5, careen into KCTV5 and accidentally broadcast Alexis del Cid from stage right – THE HORROR!!!! 6 We’re tellin’ ya, toy drones are going to be the next scourge of America!

So do your PATRIOTIC DUTY and get your son something safe for Christmas! For example, Walmart* is having a sale on their Remington 770 rifles in .30-oughtsix (with scope), with NO REGISTRATION REQUIRED! That’s just perfect for a red-blooded 10 year-old.

Gawd bless ‘murica!!!!

Yours in needless bloodshed,
Nick

Fan Mail From Some Flounder

Show 6 footnotes

  1. However we can tell you Emmy award-winning producer and investigative journalist Nadia Pflaum moved back from DC just over a week ago and has already posted an item on the Fast Pitch Blog: look for more in-depth pieces from her soon.
  2. Related: we did just have email speaks with an erstwhile reporter who spent nearly 10 years at CTV, the last few of which located in Calgary, Canada; she was less than pleased with an item we posted back in 2012. Does the phrase “gold is backed by nothing” ring a bell?
  3. In Denver we knew a reporter who would not fly with a particular chopper pilot; it was written into her contract. That may have saved her life when the pilot crashed while searching for a plane downed by a winter storm.
  4. No fuckin’ way.
  5. Thereby involving the FBI.
  6. del Cid means ‘of the brave man’, so we expect Alexis could tough that shit out. But …why take chances?

Gunslinger

gunslinger

Gunslinger Tatiana Duva-Rodriguez, 46, who pegged a couple of rounds at the vehicle of two suspected shoplifters in a Home Depot parking lot in Auburn Hills, Mich., this past October. No word on what excessively expensive items the would-be bandits attempted to steal.

Remember this lady?

She saw a couple of guys pushing a cart of goods out of a Home Depot back in October, watched as they loaded the merchandise in their van and started to drive off.

Moreover, Duva-Rodriguez says she heard a scream.

So she did what any red-blooded, real ‘murican would do: she pulled out her gun and started shooting. ‘Cause…a person was in danger!

Well…at least according to Justice Roberts: Home Depot, having been ascribed personhood exactly like…well, people…was in dire danger of being robbed of the princely sum of (an est.) $1000. Certainly that was worth  possible collateral damage, amirite?

According to a judge, not so much: he revoked Duva-Rodriguez’s concealed carry permit to until at least 2023. And sentenced her to 18 months probation.

“I tried to help, and I learned my lesson that I will never help anybody again,” she told the media afterwards.

Thank Thor. 1

Gunslinger

Show 1 footnote

  1. We expect the “good guy with a gun” mythos to be further deflated the very first time some citizen puts their Glock 20 Gen4  up against a couple of people ‘sporting’ assault weapons.