Quick Blessings

From BoingBoing:

TitlePatriarch Kirill of the Russian Orthodox Church is a powerful reactionary figure in the country’s toxic political scene, which has welded a tale of thwarted imperial destiny to a thin-skinned fundamentalist theology that can’t bear the slightest sign of mockery; he’s blamed ISIS on secularism and Pride parades and says that marriage equality literally heralds the imminent apocalypse.

So there’s a lot of context behind this photo of Kirill spraying holy water on sensitive Russian government computer systems to fight the Wcry ransomware worm. …the real nexus of this photo is the government official with the “you’ve got to be kidding me” expression, who exists in a power-structure that requires solemn professions of belief in this powerful weirdo’s dumb rituals.

This idiocy happens far more than you would think.

A Russian Orthodox bishop has blessed Russian missiles used in airstrikes. Hell, it seems they’ll bless ANYTHING.

Though, to be fair, the Catholics aren’t far behind. 1

Quick Blessings

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  1. Though they save most blessings for money and young kids.

Corpse Disposal

ewcm14rThe guidelines do not represent a change the church’s overall policy on burial and cremation, but rather underline “the doctrinal and pastoral reasons for the preference of the burial of the remains of the faithful and to set out norms pertaining to the conservation of ashes in the case of cremation”…

The newly articulated ash norms include not storing human cremains in the home and refraining from scattering ashes “in the air, on land, at sea or in some other way … in order that every appearance of pantheism, naturalism or nihilism be avoided”…

“The Church raises no doctrinal objections to this practice, since cremation of the deceased’s body does not affect his or her soul,” the guidelines continue, “nor does it prevent God, in his omnipotence, from raising up the deceased body to new life.”

Uh…that bit about not keeping the ashes in your home? We’re good with that. That’s always sort of creeped us out. But not being able to scatter the ashes? Now that’s just weird, as though “god” could not reanimate the deceased unless every single one of his atoms were in physical contact…

So, it of course begs the question, if ‘he’ created man out of nothing why does ‘he’ need ‘something’ to bring a person back to life?

Ah: Should have read further – it’s to avoid “every appearance of pantheism, naturalism or nihilism.” Good to know… 1

Corpse Disposal

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  1. Can you hear us laughing? ’cause we are; long and loud.

Bachmann Apocalypse

Michele Bachman is so off the wall batshit insane it’s a wonder anyone reports on her ravings, much less takes them seriously. The fact that she’s ‘advising’ Trump on “religious issues” ought to disqualify the both of them forever from anything in the public arena. But, no…

Former congresswoman and regular predictor of the impending apocalypse Michele Bachmann said in a Friday interview that the 2016 presidential race would be the country’s “last election.”

“I don’t want to be melodramatic but I do want to be truthful,” the evangelical Christian said in an interview on the Christian Broadcasting Network’s “Brody File.” “I believe without a shadow of a doubt this is the last election. This is it. This is the last election.”

Bachmann, who advises Donald Trump on religious issues and foreign policy, explained that demographic change in the United States posed a disadvantage to Republican candidates since the country’s growing share of minority voters were more inclined to vote for Democrats.

Sweet Jebus H. Kerist, from Michele’s dim brain to your holed and petrified corpse, pluleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze make it so – no more elections!

Bachmann Apocalypse

Gohmert: No Gay Space Colonies!

Louie Louie Louie

Worried about the makeup of an interstellar space crew? Dude – that’s such an overreach; you lack sufficient reasoning skills to correctly analyze the current presidential campaign, much less deal with ‘the future of mankind.’ Seriously, go back to your day job of increasing teh stoopid and leave space flight details to the pros. 1

Gohmert: No Gay Space Colonies!

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  1. I miss Republicans who weren’t insane.