FEMA Asteroid Impact Tabletop Exercise Simulations

Long time Feds are all too familiar with COOP (Continuity of Operations 1) exercises.

The DoJ is not immune from this planning; everything from the state courts to the Critical Response team to ATAC must have a working plan. 2

Hell, even the White House has a plan 3, and, of course, there’s an übergreifend government-wide plan.

But the real eye-opener is the recent FEMA Asteroid Impact Tabletop Exercise Simulations. 4

WARNING WARNING WARNING – not for the faint of heart:

The worst case, given the specified uncertainty, would be that the approaching object is already fractured and weak enough to explode at high altitude. Such an airburst can spread its energy out over a larger area and will be more damaging than a crater-forming impact. The worst-case scenario would be a high altitude airburst releasing about 10.6 Mt of energy. The best estimate would be that the fragment is a slightly less dense 50-meter object. Even a relatively strong object of this size is likely to explode at high altitude; although it is possible some fraction of it could reach the ground and form a crater. This best estimate is almost identical to current understanding of the Tunguska explosion…

Since the uncertainty in impact location is extensive, we also provided a map showing the damage footprint at several locations within the ellipse, which we then we convolved with the footprint (Figure 3). We advised participants that preliminary evacuation plans for an airburst over land should be in a lateral direction into area known already to be at no risk, but that detailed plans should wait until radar data becomes available (about 6 days before impact)…

Much of the uncertainty ellipse spans parts of the Gulf of Mexico. An impact within that part of the ellipse would produce a tsunami, and would affect the whole of the coastline from Texas to Florida. According to calculations by Souheil Ezzedine of Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory (LLNL) a tsunami generated by an impact in the easternmost part of the ellipse would have wave heights of 3 to 10 m and would arrive at the coast over a time spanning from 1 to 4.25 hours after the impact. The tsunami would first reach the Louisiana coastline, causing near total destruction to the barrier islands, The wave run-up would extend inland as far as 16 km.

BONUS! See what an asteroid would do to your hometown!

FEMA Asteroid Impact Tabletop Exercise Simulations

Show 4 footnotes

  1. Read: Where shit goes terribly, terribly wrong.
  2. The Marshalls Service also does COOP, at least once a year, but al it entails is making sure people like Panchito Romero Miguel Junipero Francisco Quintero González III remain locked down regardless whether the emergency is a power outage or a thermonuclear attack.
  3. Surely superfluous these days, n’est-ce pas?
  4. Certain ReThugs will see this as wasteful government spending, further justification (as if any were needed!) for slicing FEME’s budget by at least half. But this is exactly what FEMA should be doing – preparing for any eventuality, regardless of statistical odds of occurance. After all…who’d thought we’d elect an orange Cheeto as president? Shit happens, folks.

Free US Military Weapons

If you’re not a US military or police buff, you probably have never heard of the 1033 Program. It essentially provides a bureaucratic means to transfer excess military grade weapons to local law enforcement agencies. Sure, you may not like local police departments having all types of military gear, such as grenade launchers, helicopters, boats, M14s, M16s, and so on.

And you probably won’t like how the agency seemingly doles out the weapons to anybody. All you have to do is apply, create a fake website, and the Defense Logistics Agency (DLA) will oblige. Law enforcement experience is not required. There doesn’t seem to be a requirement that the requesting agency actually be real, either.

That’s according to a new Government Accountability Office report. The government auditing agency created a fake website of a fake police department and applied for the surplus goods. The fake agency was handed $1.2 million in weapons, including night-vision goggles, simulated rifles, and simulated pipe bombs. The simulated rifles and pipe bombs could have been turned into “potentially lethal items if modified with commercially available items,” according to the report. Simulated weapons are used for training purposes.

The GAO even used a fake physical address—a dirt lot—for the fake law enforcement agency. According to Zina Merritt, a GAO director who coordinated the investigation, this sting operation of sorts found that the DLA did little to verify who was requesting the military leftovers and who was actually picking up the gear.

Free US Military Weapons

Nuclear Apocalypse

Of course a Democrat prepared the nation for what a pompous ¡Pendejo! of a ReThug…er, I mean… OMP might do:

Among the greatest foreign-policy dilemmas faced by former President Jimmy Carter is one that has never been publicly aired but is gaining new relevance. It concerns nuclear war, and how the U.S. government would survive it. Carter’s decisions remain classified, but documents newly declassified by the CIA, along with the archives at several presidential libraries, provide a new window into the White House’s preparations for an imminent apocalypse.

Today, such an apocalypse could be triggered by any number of nuclear-armed states, including North Korea and Pakistan. During Carter’s presidency, such anxieties were focused squarely on the Soviet Union. It was during that period that military planners in both the Soviet Union and United States began to grapple with what until then had been an unthinkable heresy: abandoning the Mutually Assured Destruction catechism that had governed global order since the 1950s and preparing for surviving an all-out nuclear war.

Carter and his White House were interested in more specific questions. If the presidency could survive after a nuclear war, what exactly would it do afterward? How could the surviving commander in chief be identified? Who would identify him? How would he fulfill the three main functions of the presidency: to be the chief executive of the government, the head of state, and the commander in chief of its armed forces?

Carter’s answers came in the form of Presidential Directive 58, which was issued in the final months of his presidency; Ronald Reagan amended those plans with his own presidential directive in 1983. Their contents inform the continuity of government plans that remain in effect for the Trump administration. They have been the object of a multibillion-dollar pastiche of programs and a magnet for conspiracy theorists around the world.

The rest of the article is fascinating and certainly worth perusing, if only for the links to original source documents. 1

Nuclear Apocalypse

Show 1 footnote

  1. If you’re asking yourself “Why hasn’t this directive been declassified by now”?, shame on your blindness. No, it’s not because the Russians, Chinese and North Koreans would then know our plans (they already do), it’s because the residents in the area the government would be secreted under would mightily object; you might be obtuse, but it wouldn’t take them 3 seconds to figure out the Russians, Chinese and North Koreans would lock on to the underground bunker with their nukes, thereby guaranteeing the unprotected civilians above instant karma. A row would be raised…

Begging For It

Via Kansas City’s own Jason Kander:


Talk about begging for it! The White House web site is looks like thes:

On March 13th, President Donald J. Trump signed an Executive Order that will make the Federal government more efficient, effective, and accountable to you, the American people. This Executive Order directs the Director of the Office of Management and Budget to present the President with a plan that recommends ways to reorganize the executive branch and eliminate unnecessary agencies.

President Trump wants to hear your ideas and suggestions on how the government can be better organized to work for the American people.

Share your ideas below by June 12th!

This is followed by:
remove WH personnel
As you can see, WNBTv has a fairly decent idea of how to make government “can be better organized to work for the American people.”

Let the White House know your thoughts! Also? Vote Often!!!!

Begging For It

Got to Feed the Monster

So it’s come to this; the DEA practices illegal theft to fund their agency.

We highly recommend you click through to peruse the entirety of the USA Today article.

As you read you will come to the realization that we have long since become Orwell’s Oceania: We are daily monitored and guided by an oppressive state apparatus, irrespective of ruling party. There can only be one solution to reclaim our freedom. It will not be pleasant, but it is necessary.

Federal drug agents regularly mine Americans’ travel information to profile people who might be ferrying money for narcotics traffickers — though they almost never use what they learn to make arrests or build criminal cases.

Instead, that targeting has helped the Drug Enforcement Administration seize a small fortune in cash.

DEA agents have profiled passengers on Amtrak trains and nearly every major U.S. airline, drawing on reports from a network of travel-industry informants that extends from ticket counters to back offices, a USA TODAY investigation has found. Agents assigned to airports and train stations singled out passengers for questioning or searches for reasons as seemingly benign as traveling one-way to California or having paid for a ticket in cash.

The DEA surveillance is separate from the vast and widely-known anti-terrorism apparatus that now surrounds air travel, which is rarely used for routine law enforcement. It has been carried out largely without the airlines’ knowledge.

It is a lucrative endeavor, and one that remains largely unknown outside the drug agency. DEA units assigned to patrol 15 of the nation’s busiest airports seized more than $209 million in cash from at least 5,200 people over the past decade after concluding the money was linked to drug trafficking, according to Justice Department records. Most of the money was passed on to local police departments that lend officers to assist the drug agency.

“They count on this as part of the budget,” said Louis Weiss, a former supervisor of the DEA group assigned to Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport. “Basically, you’ve got to feed the monster.”

Got to Feed the Monster