Lil’ Donnie Playing Army

OF COURSE lil’ Donnie wants a military parade to review; it’s the ultimate physical manifestation of his strongman impulses.

He adores the idea of all the Elite Trump Praetorian Guards high-stepping (You can’t march like that with bone-spurs, amirightwinkwinknudgenudge!?) past his reviewing stand, all responding to the crisp “Eyes, right!” command 1 while simultaneously saluting their Pretender in Chief.

Or…better idea!…the Magnificence and Might that is America’s Grand Chancellor could lead the parade.

You know, if his bone spurs don’t make that impossible.

But the best part!? Dollars to doughnuts says that if this lunacy comes to fruition, lil’ Donnie will be wearing a custom designed military-like suit, perhaps something along the lines of the Army’s dress blues, but let out a whole bunch, and bemedaled the likes of which Sheriff Clark could only begin to imagine.

And an inspiring song, that’s what needed to finish the spectacle off!

I know I’d attend; It would be glorious.

Lil' Donnie Playing Army

Show 1 footnote

  1. Or ‘left’, depending from which direction Donnie’s putative parade begins; the military is currently looking at destroying Pennsylvania Avenue for lil’ Donnie, then exiting via New York Avenue NW, but it makes more sense to hold this childish exercise south of the White House, along Constitution Avenue.


little mermaidWhen we speak of this years from now the conversation will be imbued with more than a tinge of nostalgia.

That was the year (we’ll say) that global warming gifted us with an early autumn in the heart of summer: we fell asleep sweating on July 26th and awoke September 27th looking for a sweater. Remember? It was the night we saw The Little Mermaid at The Starlight and it was chilly enough both you girls snuggled into me for warmth the entire second act…

And yes (we’ll chuckle) it was cute how the actor portraying Sebastian channeled his inner Whoopie Goldberg all night. 1 And the way all the characters undulated their bodies —the entire time– as though in a steady current? And the music. And wasn’t Ariel sooooooooooooo pretty! And ooh ooh ooh! The jellyfish! The jellyfish! 2

Yes, that’s right (we’ll sadly acknowledge), that was the last time we went to the Starlight. Remember toward the end of the show when I covered both your heads with my hands? That’s right, that’s what I said – to keep the June bugs from nesting in your hair. There were 9mm June bugs out that night, 3 to 5 of them, flying through the air we knew not where…Um hmm, yes, there was a police helicopter competing with the big battle between King Trident and that wicked, wicked (but oh so fun) Ursula! Yes, it was funny how so many people ran for their cars even before the cast was done singing the last number on stage…

Those were the days, we’ll say.

Those were the days.

WNBTv - Good TV!

Show 2 footnotes

  1. Okay, let me go on record here and say that, for me? Personally? I’m sooooooooooooo over the whole way-too-smart, loyal black retainer character that humorously – though with just a touch of gentle irony – wisely foreshadows the major plot points of a show all night long. I mean, there’s racism and then there’s racism, amiright?
  2. The jellyfish were damned cool, actually. Far better than the ‘swimming’, which was achieved via the same rigging that allowed Scuttle to fly. Except that Scuttle could keep his legs up, while the show’s ‘fish’ had to sort of let theirs drag uselessly behind: diplegic sea creatures.