Homosexual Chemtrail Fire Ants

Fire ants are being laced with homosexual chemtrails and then dumped in neighborhoods with higher per capita rates of Christianity.

The homosexual chemtrail concoction contains a high concentration of gay endorphins.  Sources confirm that several exclusive gay clubs collected the spent sweats of late-night homosexuality, then sent them to a laboratory where in-vitro techniques were used to create this potent new form of biological homosexual chemtrail…

…When placed next to a person who is not homosexual, the ants become restless and aroused, lifting their brightly colored abdominal areas in the air as if in some form of coital temptation, their jaws ravenously snapping toward the flesh of any non-gay person in their proxy…

Various Christian neighborhoods in Texas have been reporting a sharp increase in these chemtrail laced fire ants and the CDC is reporting a higher incidence of homosexuality in Texas.  This is all likely part of Obama’s Jade Helm 1 2 invasion, but the Texas Chapter of the Christian Defense League suggests homeowners spray all of their doorways with bug guard and be vigilant in not becoming victimized by one of these ants.

Sweet Jebus on a crutch, the damned gays are coming for our children! Why else would they do this unless they want these ants to run up to playground and family picnics and bite the children, laying the seeds of homosexuality in their bodies? 3

Homosexual Chemtrail Fire Ants

Show 3 footnotes

  1. Joint Assistance for Deployment Execution Homeland Eradication of Local Militants.
  2. Don’t tell me you forgot Jade Helm? Hell, no less an intellectual heavyweight than Chuck Norris warned America about it!
  3. I’m thinking Thursdays may soon officially become Trolling Thursdays

Genocide Is Permissible

We just ran across this little bit of irony. It seems that the Times of Israel published a piece at the beginning of the month entitled “When Genocide Is Permissible.”

Yeah, we know. The op-ed was written by someone named Yochanan Gordon. Here’s a sample:

Everyone agrees that Israel has the right to defend itself as well as the right to exercise that right. Secretary General Ban Ki Moon has declared it, Obama and Kerry have clearly stated that no one could be expected to sit idle as thousands of rockets rain down on the heads of its citizens, placing them in clear and present danger. It seems then that the only point of contention is regarding the measure of punishment meted out in this situation.
I will conclude with a question for all the humanitarians out there. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu clearly stated at the outset of this incursion that his objective is to restore a sustainable quiet for the citizens of Israel. We have already established that it is the responsibility of every government to ensure the safety and security of its people. If political leaders and military experts determine that the only way to achieve its goal of sustaining quiet is through genocide is it then permissible to achieve those responsible goals?

While the Times did pull the column…you know…eventually, it was apparently posted for at least a few days. 1 Can you imagine if George Will had written a column on race and Ferguson and entitled it The Final Solution?
Stop Resisting

Show 1 footnote

  1. And you thought the Star’s editors were blind? Well…they are, granted. But we don’t believe them to be that bad…right?

Burning Man

According to reports, the Silicon Valley-based tech industry has convinced itself that it invented everything it enjoys, including Democracy, rule of law, San Francisco, Burning Man, and sex

“Techies are really innovative, so it’s only natural that they would hack human sexuality by coming up with a pleasurable use for what was previously just a reproductive process,” Google employee Miles Davidson said. “You’re welcome.”

Brent Sternberg, a Facebook engineer who started attending Mission Control sex parties a year ago, said that blow jobs simply wouldn’t have been possible without social media. “How could you have ever told someone that you like it?” he asked. “It would never work.”

Futurist Ray Kurzweil, Google’s Director of Engineering, said he believes that the tech giant is on track to invent S&M by 2025. “It will be incredibly pleasurable,” he said, “unless it hurts too much. Until we develop it, there’s just no way to know.”

Apple vice president of design Louis Harris is especially proud of the tech industry for inventing Burning Man, a 27-year-old annual arts event, in 2008.

“Prior to the tech industry, no one had really considered creating experimental communities, or going camping,” Harris said. “But then thousands of tech workers disrupted the desert and invented DJs.”

Burning Man

Zeroing Out the EPROMs

ARLINGTON, VA €” The Department of the Army announced Wednesday they are determined to eliminate all operational memory from more than a decade of fighting the Global War on Terror.

Secretary of the Army John McHugh made it clear that these kind of cuts were necessary in the post-Afghanistan Army, despite having troops deployed in the field. €œThe Army has acquired a lot of useless knowledge that we €™re currently in the process of purging from our data banks in the Pentagon, € McHugh said.

Cuts to personnel have been the Army €™s greatest reduction of all, as mid-level officers and NCOs alike have fled the Army €™s bureaucracy in droves.

€œPersonnel cuts and a hiring freeze are set to take effect. It €™s a good start. € said Assistant Secretary of the Army Thomas Lamont. €œWe have to go further however, and branches like the Army have to realize they €™ve had it easy with learning invaluable lessons in counter-terrorism and counterinsurgency. €

Lamont stressed that once finished, the Army wouldn €™t even remember having fought such a conflict.

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