The Idiot and Jerusalem

It is barely mentioned these days (given so much other craziness emanating from the White House and its minions 1) that the majority of cabinet posts and close advisers to the president* are all evangelical Christians. The current list:

  • Attorney General Jeff Sessions
  • Secretary of the Interior Ryan Zinke
  • Secretary of Health & Human Services Dr. Tom Price Player To Be Named Later
  • Secretary of Housing & Urban Development Dr. Ben Carson
  • Secretary of Transportation Elaine Chao
  • Secretary of Energy Rick Perry
  • Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos
  • Director of the EPA Scott Pruitt
  • U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley
  • Senior Counselor for Economic Initiatives Dina Powell ANother Player To…
  • Director of National Intelligence Dan Coats
  • Director of Central Intelligence Mike Pompeo

This is important because a hearty sub-section of evangelical Christians really, really believe there will be a millennium in the future where the actual Jebus returns.

However, this won’t happen without pain, people. There first must be a tribulation, where the actual Christ defeats the actual e-vil. Concurrent with this will be all manner of natural disasters, wars and Randall Flagg the Antichrist.

It will be “convert or die”, baby, with the unconverted summarily dispatched to the fiery lakes of Hell.

So the president’s recent recognition of Jerusalem being wholly in Israel gladdens the hearts of evangelical Christians, what with that proclamation increasing the chances of an all out war in the Middle East that might, just might mind you, lead to The Battle of Armageddon.

Evangelical Christians hope The Battle of Armageddon slaughters the majority of the Jews in Israel, with the survivors –now converted to Christianity– assisting the rebuilding of the city by a returning baby Jebus.

The rest of us (apparently all suffering from the worst case ever of non-buyers remorse), down to the littlest Kiribati baby girl, will end up killing each other. That will leave only Christians alive. 2

This sick fantasy does not, of course, take into account Israel’s 200+ atomic weapons, combined with their of…how to say this…absolutely zero tolerance of assholes, fools and jackanapes who might desire to wipe them from the face of the earth.

But for evangelical Christians…it’s a good first step.

The Idiot and Jerusalem

Show 2 footnotes

  1. The ReThugs in Alabama are set to elect an asshole who’s latest selling point is that he went to a Vietnamese child whore house…but did not partake! Sing hallelujah, praise the lord!
  2. This is not only the Number 1 thing evangelical Christians want for Christmas, it’s the only thing. Well…unless they can also have a (presumptive) pederast for a United States Senator.

Roy Moore and the 12 Year Old

The ReThugs and Pederasts are so certain of their double-digit victory down in Alabama today they’ve taken to blatantly trolling us.

To our mind this is the exact definition of exploitation. No parent should let this happen to their child and no candidate of conscience would burden a child with this legacy.

Remember this moment when the shooting finally begins.

Roy Moore and the 12 Year Old

Roy Moore: Lawless Theocratic Lunatic

Any report about Roy Moore that doesn’t specifically refer to him as a right-wing extremist is not worth your time. No more “firebrand.” No more impotent yap about his “controversial views.” Roy Moore is an extremist or the word no longer has meaning. If, as appears likely, he gets elected to the Senate from Alabama, then a majority of Alabama voters are extremists, too. If he gets elected, then the Republican Party ever more should be referred to as an extremist party. That, of course, is if we’re being honest about what’s really going on in this country in 2017.

And, no, when it comes to the people who voted for Moore, I don’t have to “respect their beliefs.” I don’t have to “understand where they’re coming from.” I don’t have to “see it from their side.” These people are preparing to make a lawless theocratic lunatic one of 100 United States Senators, and that means these people are about to inflict him and his medievalism on me, too. If you think that Roy Moore belongs in the Senate, then you are a half-bright goober whose understanding of American government and basic civics probably stops at the left side of your AM radio dial. You have no concept of the national interest and very little concept of your own, unless, as I suspect, you’ve made your own fears, and hating people and hawking loogies in all directions, the sum total of your involvement in self-government. You are killing democracy and you don’t know it or care. If you had any real Christian charity in your hearts, you’d keep Roy Moore in the locked ward of your local politics and not loose him on a nation that deserves so much better than him.

Why do I not have to “respect their beliefs,” besides the fact that most of those beliefs belong in a cage? I don’t have to “respect their beliefs” because the U.S. Senate to which they are preparing to send him is in the process of screwing them with their pants on and they could care less.

Roy Moore: Lawless Theocratic Lunatic

Dear President Bannon

Dear President Bannon,

Congratulations on your upgrade to Malebolge, the Eighth Circle of the Abyss. This tier of our eternal rewards program is reserved for customers of our Fraud department, including flatterers, adulterers, hypocrites, and thieves. And what a dedicated customer you have been.

We thank you for your use of our offerings, including Graft, Pandering, Deceit, and the Promotion of Discord. You earned your Fraud points through a surprising variety of purchases, ranging from tax evasion to promoting white supremacy.

The bulk of your Fraud points were earned, of course, through your war against Islam, a religion you slandered in Breitbart News and in your “documentaries.” Once you became a Presidential advisor, you started earning triple points with your Muslim-targeted immigration ban. (We apologize that the product broke immediately upon delivery.)

Dear President Bannon