Chess Players & Pussy Riot

I stood in a doorway and took questions from journalists. Suddenly, I was dragged away by a group of police–in fact carried away with one policeman on each arm and leg. The men refused to tell me why I was being arrested and shoved me into a police van. When I got up to again ask why I had been detained, things turned violent. I was restrained, choked and struck several times by a group of officers before being driven to the police station with dozens of other protesters. After several hours I was released, but not before they told me I was being criminally investigated for assaulting a police officer who claimed I had bitten him.

It would be easy to laugh at such a bizarre charge when there are already so many videos and photos of the police assaulting me. But in a country where you can be imprisoned for two years for singing a song, laughter does not come easily. My bruises will heal long before the members of Pussy Riot are free to see their young children again. In the past, Mr. Putin’s critics and enemies have been jailed on a wide variety of spurious criminal charges, from fraud to terrorism.

But now the masks are off. Unlikely as it may be, the three members of Pussy Riot have become our first true political prisoners.

Such a brazen step should raise alarms, but the leaders of the Free World are clearly capable of sleeping through any wake-up call. If this was all business as usual for the Putin justice system, the same was true for the international reaction. A spokesman for the Obama administration called the sentence “disproportionate,” as if the length of the prison term were the only problem with open repression of political speech. The Russian Constitution is freely available online, but this was a medieval show trial with no connection to the criminal code.

Mr. Putin is not worried about what the Western press says, or about celebrities tweeting their support for Pussy Riot. These are not the constituencies that concern him. Friday, the Russian paper Vedomosti reported that former Deutsche Bank CEO Josef Ackermann could be put in charge of managing the hundreds of billions of dollars in the Russian sovereign wealth fund. As long as bankers and other Western elites eagerly line up to do Mr. Putin’s bidding, the situation in Russia will only get worse.

If officials at the U.S. State Department are as “seriously concerned” about free speech in Russia as they say, I suggest they drop their opposition to the Magnitsky Act pending in the Senate. That legislation would bring financial and travel sanctions against the functionaries who enact the Kremlin’s agenda of repression. Mouthing concern only reinforces the fact that no action will be taken.

Mr. Putin could not care less about winning public-relations battles in the Western press, or about fighting them at all. He and his cronies care only about money and power. Today’s events make it clear that they will fight for those things until Russia’s jails are full.


Back in February we mused over whether Pussy Riot might signal Putin’s downfall.

We were wrong, of course.

But hopefully only in the short term.

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I\’m Batman!

Which One a You Fuckers is Judas?We sure do like to talk religion here at WNBTv. Indeed some of the many many insane clown posses even meet with our approval.

Well, you can add another buncha nutcases holy order to that extremely short list: Batmanism!

Batmanism is the latest religion to sweep the globe, with thousands joining up online to extol the virtues of the hero of Gotham city.

Now Batmanism’s only British disciple, Paul Bennett, from Solihull, West Midlands, has vowed to covert more people in the UK to the new religion.

He has even been out on the streets of Birmingham along with Christian preachers and Muslim clerics to show the masses the true path to enlightenment.

Mr Bennett, 38, regularly dons his mask and clerical collar, then hits the streets to spread the gospel according to Bruce Wayne.

Followers must vow to fight corruption and defend the truth, spend hours training and patrolling the streets while undergoing gruelling rites of passage, which include a batmitzfa and ‘breaking of the back’ ceremony.

Our favorite bit:

Those who follow the hero’s teachings as laid out in scriptures, the DC Comic collection, can look forward to a blissful afterlife in Wayne Manor.

But any who reject the true path and succumb to the ways of arch-enemy The Joker are damned to spend eternity in the Arkham Asylum.

All of which sounds pretty groovy…until you see the video. 1

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Show 1 footnote

  1. Also? pro Tip – skinny jeans should be worn, generally speaking, only by skinny people. Jes’ sayin’…

Horsing Around

That's racist!
It’s a shame that you can still find this kind of discrimination in America.

In yet further evidence that the apocalypse is already here (it’s just rather unevenly distributed at the moment, thank you) comes a series of photos of…well, we’re not truly sure.

We think this might qualify as cosplay. But we don’t understand the impetus behind cosplay 1 and so can’t be sure.

On the other hand it could simply be a Daliesque, post-post modern ironic statement concerning the early work of auteur Francis Ford Coppola.

However we suspect a deeply buried, tangential connection to outright bestiality, the increase of which in adult films almost beggars belief. 2

In the interests of expanding our meager knowledge of such things, should you care to share a horse-head related image with us 3, please attach them to an e-mail and send them to:

someone AT WillNotBeTelevised DOT com

We thank you in advance.

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Show 3 footnotes

  1. Unless it’s an inarticulate, desperate attempt at reality-denying wish fulfillment, in which case we understand it perfectly. However why don’t today’s kids find solace in a good single malt and half a blunt? Why do they have to be a horse? Also…get off my lawn!
  2. So we’ve read…
  3. Either including bestiality or not, totally up to you; no one’s judging, we promise…okay, okay, we may remark on skin tone and/or blemishes, but that’s just our fetish.