Category Archives: ¡Pendejo!

MENSA

Girl fight!!! Girl Fight!!!!!

The latest from The Onion er…The Hill:

Bring on the IQ test — Mensa says it’s willing to host President Trump and Secretary of State Rex Wayne Tillerson in a battle of the brains.

In an interview with Forbes published Tuesday, Trump suggested he and Tillerson — who allegedly once called the commander in chief a “moron” — go head-to-head in an intelligence quotient showdown. The State Department has denied Tillerson ever made the comments. 1

“I think it’s fake news,” Trump told the magazine of Tillerson’s “moron” remark, “but if he did that, I guess we’ll have to compare IQ tests. And I can tell you who is going to win.”

Golly gee! We’re guessing it won’t be the American people, n’est-ce pas?

“American Mensa would be happy to hold a testing session for President Trump and Secretary Tillerson,” said Charles Brown, the group’s communications director.

You betcha. That’d be something – mano a mano. tête-à-tête, tiny fingers v. normal fingers! The Hill could even stream the actual test taking LIVE! We’d be all for it; it would at least postpone WWIII  for a while longer.

Jebus H. Ke-rist on a Fucking Pogo Stick – this is what America has devolved to; a dick-wagging contest initiated by a President so immature, so juvenile, so fucking imbecilic as to be nearly unbelievable. Thank you, Deplorables. Thank you very fucking much.

The time for such a contest would be before the primaries, and the format should “Jeopardy”. The categories would be Names of Countries, The Constitution , Recent Presidents, Which Car Do I Get In After Deboarding Air Force One, What is Air Force One, Secret Service or My Praetorian Guard?

You get the idea. Sure would save us this bullshit down the road.

In any event, since the MENSA-off will never happen (Trump KNOWS he would lose), Stephen Colbert has kindly predicted the putative winner:

MENSA

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  1. That’s true: What Tillersone actually said was “a fucking moron.” Lot of difference there.

Uppity Niggers

WASHINGTON — Generalissimo Donaldo Juan Trumpo on Sunday issued a new executive order indefinitely banning all travel to Washington, DC, for all NFL and NBA teams, citing serious threats to his massive ego from uppity niggers’ proximity to the White House.

On Sunday’s “This Week,” Treasury Secretary Steve “Foreclosure King” Mnuchin supported His Liege, arguing the NFL “has all types of rules” and that “They (the players) can do free speech on their own time.”

This is a stance historically promulgated by U.S. slave owners, and tacitly supported by a minority of the country’s general populace.

However of late athlete slaves have taken a contrary stance that has upset the Generalissimo and the minority of mouth breathers and deplorables who voted for him.

It is also being reported that the Generalissimo is considering new rules that would allow the administration to deport, as early as next Tuesday, the more “flagrant” uppity niggers.

Sources, who wish to remain anonymous because they are not allowed to publicly comment but still believe the Generalissimo is a fat-headed horse’s ass, state the first athletes on the ever growing list are “that son of a bitch Colin Kaepernick” and “that loser Steph Curry.”

“Let’s see how well those loser sons of bitches play in a CIA black site,” the Generalissimo is reported to have chuckled.

Kaepernick and Curry have refused further comment, though a common friend noted: “What’s left to say? The president* is an unreconstructed asshole. Better yet, in the immortal words of Chris Kluwe, he’s a narcissistic fromunda stain. You can’t reason with that shit.”

Observers suggested that the Ninth Circuit Court could overturn the order as it appears unconstitutional on its face, but both the NFL and the NBA have demurred.

“Nah, why bother; we don’t want to go see that loser anyway”, said almost everybody.

Kaepernick, a starting Super Bowl quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers, is currently not under contract for being an uppity nigger; Step Curry, whom many analysts consider the greatest shooter in NBA history, is apparently also considered an uppity nigger by the Generalissimo.

In the Age of Trump

Dotard

Whatever else Rocket Man may be, he sure knows a senile old fart when he sees one.

That car? I get to ride in that car? Look at how shiny it is! …where are we going again? And in that car, you say?

“I will surely and definitely tame the deranged U.S. dotard with fire,” Kim declared in an unusually direct and angry statement published Thursday by North Korea’s official Korean Central News Agency.

It doesn’t bode well for the country that both the media and the Congress Critters are pretending Generalissimo Donaldo Juan Trumpo is not mentally deficient 1 , whether it be caused by dementia or Alzheimer’s.
Dotard

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  1. Jeeeez, but that’s cutting the bastard a whole of slack, amirite?

What a Moron; What an Asshole

Generalissimo Donaldo Juan Trumpo went to Texas to hold a campaign rally 1 uh….well:

What a Moron; What an Asshole

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  1. I seriously don’t think the asshole can help it; he is simply incapable of opening his mouth without self reference. In his mind he’s the only thing that gives everything else meaning. He can not diminish, and go into the dark lands soon enough.

But wait, if you order right now . . .

Generalissimo Donaldo Juan Trumpo’s quality has been known amongst both his “friends” and enemies for some time, but this morning’s demonstration of clueless self-regard seals the deal: As hurricane Harvey flooded Texas, Generalissimo Donaldo Juan Trumpo starts his broadcast day by hawking a book by a known liar and racist.


Generalissimo Donaldo Juan Trumpo’s priorities blodly displayed.

But wait, if you order right now . . .

SMACKDOWN: Jim Acosta v. Steve Miller

Seriously, Steve Miller is the most obvious Trump flack we’ve ever see.

Well…besides Kellyanne Conway.

Or, you know, Sean Spicer.

Or, shit..I forgot: Da’Mooch!

Or…uh, who’s doin’ that lyin’ shit today? Aah, never mind – all of them are going to obfuscate, backfill and outright lie. 1

Jim Acosta v. Steve Miller

Show 1 footnote

  1. It should be noted that whatever Stephen Miller said about the Statue of Liberty doesn’t matter since he was “added later”, and will most likely be “fired next.”

Pear Shaped

Didn’t Debbie Wasserman die? Or at least go away?

When a computer expert who worked for congressional Democrats was accused of stealing computers and data systems in February, members of Congress cut him loose within days, leaving Imran Awan with no supporters five months later.

Except for Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz.

The Weston Democrat has not explained in detail why she continued to employ Awan until Tuesday when she fired him — after he was arrested on bank-fraud charges at Dulles International Airport in Virginia attempting to board a flight to Pakistan.

And she has not elaborated on what work Awan did for her after he lost access to the House computer network.

She declined to answer questions about Awan in Washington on Wednesday, and her spokesman, David Damron, accompanied her to the House floor while instructing a reporter that Wasserman Schultz would not take questions about her former employee.

So…she didn’t die. Sure sounds like she should have though.

But months after Awan was fired by everyone else, Wasserman Schultz grilled Capitol Police Chief Matthew Verderosa in May over why computer equipment was confiscated from her office as part of the investigation into Awan even though she was not under investigation.

“Under my understanding, the Capitol police are not able to confiscate a member’s equipment when the member is not under investigation,” Wasserman Schultz said. “It is their equipment and it is supposed to be returned.”

Verderosa told Wasserman Schultz that he couldn’t return the equipment without the permission of the investigation.

This is just bizarre. I mean, more bizarre than normal for a member of Congress.

One suspects that perhaps, just perhaps, Awan has something nefarious on Wasserman. Or perhaps Wasserman was actually using Awan as a cat’s-paw. For what? Well, that’s the $63 question, n’est-ce pas? However, knowing Wasserman, it sure wasn’t something totally above-board that has now gone all pear-shaped.

Of course the simplest explanation in this instance may obtain: Wasserman is so out of touch she had/has no idea what Awan was doing.

Pear Shaped