What Happened to All the Jobs Trump Promised?

Since the election, President Trump has made 31 specific claims about companies adding or saving American jobs thanks to his intervention. We went back to see what’s become of those announcements…

Short answer? More propaganda and lies.

What, you thought the president* was serious?

What Happened to All the Jobs Trump Promised?

Stormy Daniels in the Flesh!

We're Just Pals!
I don’t care what Trump has said about not using alcohol or drugs; I KNOW stoned when I see it, and that dude is BAKED!

As we mentioned the other day, Stormy Daniels, the president*’s expensive Gal Pal, will be removing most (if not all) of her clothes  in an exclusive engagement this Friday and Saturday evening at LEGS down in Knobtown.1

There will be a $10 cover charge payable at the door, but –as befits a high priced “sex therapist” 2— if you want to grab a table, be prepared to shell out some cash:

All tables are bottle service only.
You have to come in and pre pay to reserve tables.
Bottles start at 300 just like any normal night.

Thank You
Legs KC

Sent from my iPhone

$300 for some cheap ass vodka? I don’t think so – leave that shit to those with flash cash.

The good news is LEGS is not engaging in price gouging; $300 is the normal price for a bottle table. 3

The bad news? Holy shit! $300 for a bottle table is normal?!

We’re thinking the only people that can afford to see Stormy in the flesh are the usual Chiefs’ party crew, one or two “bad boy” Royals (who will sneak out of the house and attempt to go ‘incognito’ at the club itself), a few management types “in the life” 4, perhaps an enterprising journalist or two who’ve convinced their editor(s) “there’s a story there”, or even a group of youngish JoCo bros (frat members all) who pool their resources to see what the excitement’s all about.

If you go, send pics, please. Preferably selfies with Stormy lurking somewhere in the background.

Stormy Daniels in the Flesh!

Show 4 footnotes

  1. Heh heh heh; he said “knob”.
  2. Because you KNOW Trump wrote that $130K off on his taxes, right? All he had to do is get that quack of a doctor to “prescribe” it…after the fact, winkwinknudgenudgeknowotimean?
  3. For $300 I’d expect the bottle to be D’usse XO, which would provide the bar with a $40 profit. However, knowing full well the markup in those places is YUUUGE, I’d settle for a bottle of Martel’s Cordon Bleu. But CIROC vodka? That’s just trashy…
  4. No, I didn’t say pimps.

Live! On Stage!

A couple of things are happening even as we pen this:

First, a good number of national leaders at Davos are calling the president* (Live! On Stage!) a shithole. Deservedly, n’est-ce pas?

This bit o’ flesh is apparently worth $130,000 to the president*.
Why…it’s Melania! What do you suppose is in the briefcase: $130K?

Second, the somewhat sketchy area known as Knobtown 1 is getting ready to put on the Ritz!

Why? Because the president*’s (putative) one-time paramour is coming ! says The Kansas City Star.

Specifically, to LEGS Party Bar, catty-corner from Sheila’s Closet and Summer Time Massage.

According to The Star there’s just a $10 cover charge. But if you look on LEGs web site you’ll see that you need a “table and bottle” reservation. No idea how much that is, though Thor knows we’ve called and emailed the business enough asking that exact question.

When we learn how many more Ameros are needed to see the president’s bit o’ squeeze in the flesh, we’ll let you know.

Oh – and if you go? Class up, boys; don’t wear those tight whiteys!

Live! On Stage!

The Trump-resistant solid gold toilet, crafted by Maurizio Cattelan.

In other Trumplandia art news, the Guggenheim has offered to loan the First Couple a gold plated shitter for their personal White House quarters.

The White House had requested the loan of van Gogh’s Landscape with Snow, but were rebuffed by the museum. 2

As the Guggenheim curator noted, the painting is “prohibited from travel except for the rarest of occasions”, and was already traveling to Bilbao, Spain, and then would be returned to New York “for the foreseeable future.” 3

And, seriously? Who would knowingly loan the president* anything nice? Have you seen what he’s done with the presidency so far? Why, it’s a gold plated scandal.

Live! On Stage!

Show 3 footnotes

  1.  Which is really no more than a few assorted buildings built around the Noland Road and Blue Parkways/350 Highway intersection.
  2. And here we’re assuming the request was originally submitted by Melania, whom –we’re assured– has some artistic sensibilities, her taste in men aside.
  3. Or until Mueller assists the president* out of office, whichever occurs first.

The Best Trump Endorsement Ever

Hmmm…maybe that word does not mean what I think it means.

De Niro was at at again last night, this time while while introducing Meryl Streep at the National Board of Review gala.

I don’t care much for New York, never had.

But those few special New Yorkers? Priceless.

The Best Trump Endorsement Ever