Category Archives: holidays

Easter

Why is the rum always gone?

Asta’s Easter booty

The above is the Möbius-obverse to Molyneux’s problem: A blind person might hold the centermost egg in the photo and describe its shape, then hold another basketed egg and describe it’s shape, and yet another and so on and so on, but be unable to discern inscriptions. Then we would miraculously restore sight to our disabled subject. Would he then, by tactile memory alone, be able to pick out the egg wax-crayon etched: “Why is the rum always gone?” 1

Easter

Show 1 footnote

  1. Exhibit 1 among the reasons why we returned the Astas to these here United States of Amurika; that fancy Swiss school was teaching them some impertinent ideas. The local nuns will steel-ruler-across-the-hands that shit right out of them.

Lincoln’s Birthday

If you’re old enough you remember February brought school kids 2 days off in February: Lincoln’s birthday –which wasn’t an official national holiday, but was nonetheless celebrated as such (especially in Illinois, as well as here in Missouri)– and Washington’s birthday, which was a nationally recognized holiday.

However, amid all the other evils credited to the jackanape, in 1971 Nixon signed into law the Uniform Monday Holiday Act, which stuffed the two birthdays into one date, always the third Monday in February.

However, far more depressing than the loss of a day off from school is the fact that the new fangled President’s Day celebration includes Richard Nixon, George W. Bush and now OMB. 1

But today, on his birthday, let’s take another look at Abraham Lincoln.

Lincoln's Birthday

Blood Rave

3.4K blood aficionados plan on attending the following…

The Netherlands will have its first ever “Blood Rave” – a dance party where dancers are sprayed with 5 thousand liters of blood – in Amsterdam on Halloween night.

The event has been posted on Facebook, but with no specifics except for the date – October 31st – so far. A total of 728 guests have indicated that they are going.

One of the organizers, who want to remain anonymous due to the nature of the event, told the AD that this is will be the first blood party in the world and the demand for it is high.

The Blood Rave is based on the opening sequence of the 1998 vampire movie Blade. The opening shows a club full of dancing people suddenly sprayed with blood. The organizers want to use the same elements to recreate this scene. “In real life it is just more extreme.” one said to the newspaper. In terms of attendees, they expect somewhat “freaky” people in terms of personality.

The organizers want to host a Halloween event that if focused less on pumpkins and kids and is “rawer and more exciting”. They are still trying to figure out whether it will be possible to use real blood, but that is what they want. “After a long search we have developed a special sprinkler system with pipes running across the ceiling and thus making us able to spray blood over the crowd. We’ve already tested it a number of times a substance resembling blood”, one of the organizers explained. “It is pushing the borders, but we want to see how far we can go.”

Blood Rave

The long long shift

I, the primitive toiler, half naked and grimed to the eyes,

Sweating it deep in their ditches, swining it stark in their styes;

Hurling down forests before me, spanning tumultuous streams;

Down in the ditch building o’er me palaces fairer than dreams;

Boring the rock to the ore-bed, driving the road through the fen,

Resolute, dumb, uncomplaining, a man in a world of men.

Master, I’ve filled my contract, wrought in Thy many lands;

Not by my sins wilt Thou judge me, but by the work of my hands.

Master, I’ve done Thy bidding, and the light is low in the west,

And the long long shift is over … Master, I’ve earned it — Rest.

Robert W. Service

The long long shift