FluffyRainbowSparkleHoney is okay but lacks a number

Popular pet names Rover, Cheryl and Kate could be a thing of the past. Banks are now advising parents to think carefully before naming their child’s first pet. For security reasons, the chosen name should have at least eight characters, a capital letter and a digit. It should not be the same as the name of any previous pet, and must never be written down, especially on a collar as that is the first place anyone would look. Ideally, children should consider changing the name of their pet every 12 weeks.

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While you’re down there, lil’ buddy, doan suppose you wanna do a guy a favor?

What? Who's talkin' to me?
Drunk Somewhat Sobered by his Talking Urinal Cake Experience

The state says talking urinal-deodorizer cakes have been distributed to Michigan Licensed Beverage Association members in Wayne, Bay, Ottawa and Delta counties.

A recorded message will play reminding men who step up to the urinals to call a cab or a friend, if needed, to get home safely.

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Iron Throne

It cuts all who sit itPer Wikipedia:

The Iron Throne is a monstrosity of spikes and jagged edges and twisted metal. It is uncomfortable, and the back is fanged with steel which makes leaning back impossible. Aegon I had it made this way deliberately, saying that a king should never sit easy. King Aerys II Targaryen, the “Mad King,” was always cutting himself upon it and it is said that the throne itself has caused the deaths of several people

Whoa! How cool is that, right! Makes you want to run right out and get one of your own.

So, of course, now you can.

HBO’s online shop is selling full-sized replicas of the Iron Throne. For just the low, low cost of $30,000! 1 2 3

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Show 3 footnotes

  1. Well…plus $1,800.00 shipping and handling
  2. My gast has officially been flabbered. Really? Seriously, what kind of buffoon would dress up in faux medieval costumery, complete with honed replica broadsword, and pretend to be King HighAndMightySuchAndSuch while sitting in their 30K ‘throne’? Hell, what kind of doofus would even own said costume, much less a replica ‘sword’? My guess is it would have to be a terminally single, perhaps even serially divorced, certainly overly-involved in speculative fiction, socially awkward male, probably someone who does IT work, though not much past the Tier 1 HelpDesk level. Throw in some OCD or a touch of Asperger’s and you’ve just described (at least) 50% of those in the IT business. Although none of them would command anywhere near the salary necessary to make the iron Throne their own…. Probably a dozen equally socially retarded millionaires will end up ordering the thing.
  3. Were I to blow 30K willy nilly, my choices would be substantially different; maybe start with an Obamaphone, add a new hobby, then return (this time with Nora and the Astas) to the most beautiful spot in the world.

Shakespearean Spam

URGENT REQUEST FROM MOOR OF VENICE

O Hello !

I am a Moorish prince ! It is with heart full of hope & tragedye that I explain this tragedye.

my wife Desideminna was killed with a stab & and I tragically cannot get in her will which left me many of her possessions: moneyes, whitescarves, whiches bramble. Please help me live wi/out the brambles by donating your pence !

I hereby agree to compensate your sincere effort with 20% of the funds, pay’d back in puffed crevats, greensleeves sheet musics&slaves. no risk no danger.contact my barrister @: t8wrguhisd-upon-Avon.

Best wishs,
Othello T. Smiths

(via the redoubtable Megan)

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