Fire ants are being laced with homosexual chemtrails and then dumped in neighborhoods with higher per capita rates of Christianity.
The homosexual chemtrail concoction contains a high concentration of gay endorphins. Sources confirm that several exclusive gay clubs collected the spent sweats of late-night homosexuality, then sent them to a laboratory where in-vitro techniques were used to create this potent new form of biological homosexual chemtrail…
…When placed next to a person who is not homosexual, the ants become restless and aroused, lifting their brightly colored abdominal areas in the air as if in some form of coital temptation, their jaws ravenously snapping toward the flesh of any non-gay person in their proxy…
…Various Christian neighborhoods in Texas have been reporting a sharp increase in these chemtrail laced fire ants and the CDC is reporting a higher incidence of homosexuality in Texas. This is all likely part of Obama’s Jade Helm 1 2 invasion, but the Texas Chapter of the Christian Defense League suggests homeowners spray all of their doorways with bug guard and be vigilant in not becoming victimized by one of these ants.
Sweet Jebus on a crutch, the damned gays are coming for our children! Why else would they do this unless they want these ants to run up to playground and family picnics and bite the children, laying the seeds of homosexuality in their bodies? 3
In terms of impact, we’d say moving from Easter Bunny to Press Secretary was at best a lateral move for Sean Spicer.
And on bad days, definitely a demotion…
Happy Friday! Did you know that Sean Spicer used to be the White House Easter Bunny? ?? pic.twitter.com/ASGS89i9hL
— AJ+ (@ajplus) March 3, 2017
From BBC 4 comes a purported one-off(er), The Fake News Show:
KAISERSLAUTERN, Germany — A bright-red, mock “incoming missile” message that was mistakenly sent to all wing personnel at Spangdahlem Air Base on Tuesday was recalled in about eight minutes.
It wasn’t enough time to cause widespread panic but it was just enough time for someone to take a screen shot of the image and post it to social media, causing the wing some embarrassment as people poked fun at the error on Facebook and it was first reported by Air Force Times.
The message, which read, “MISSILE INBOUND. SEEK SHELTER IMMEDIATELY!” originated in the command post of the 52nd Fighter Wing, spokesman Maj. Bryon McGarry said.
Since this is The Stars and Stripes that we’re talking about, there were no comments on the article.
Which is a crying shame, ’cause servicemen are rather inventive that way.