The Palins

Like most Americans, we’re curious about the personal doings of Our Betters. You know, the national politicians whose gravitas and intellectual leanings well qualify them to lead the lumpenproletariat? Join us now as we look in on the Palins on a typical Saturday night…

The story goes like this: Bristol and Willow reportedly started to harass Corey all night so much so that Chris, the host of the party, was forced to intervene – which prompted an inebriated Bristol to throw several punches at him.

Because Bristol is the negotiator of the Palin family.

Bristol was asked to leave, but continued to punch at Chris several times, according to Political-Gates.

Bristol is nothing if not a tenacious negotiator.

Naturally, Track also got into a fight and Todd reportedly suffered a bloody nose in that altercation.

Is it just us or does Todd always seem to come off in these things like a schmuck?

The super sleuths at Wonkette made a call to the authorities to find out if this story is true.

Anita in the Anchorage Police Department’s communications office is sitting at her desk at 7:15 a.m. on Tuesday Thursday, so probs they are waiting for a whole mess of calls from Jake Tapper or whatever, and Anita confirms that a huge bloody mess of a brawl between multiple subjects took place Saturday night, and that the Palins were “present.”

However, since nobody wanted to arrest anybody else, the names of the “subjects” remain not yet released. But the investigation continues.

Where was Sarah in all of this?

Amanda Coyne reports:

It’s something to hear when Sarah screams, “Don’t you know who I am!” And it was particularly wonderful when someone in the crowd screamed back, “This isn’t some damned Hillbilly reality show!”

The whole thing sounds like a typical Grandview Saturday night..

Seriously though – isn’t it’s just as fascinating as watching the royal family? But if the Palins are serious about competing with the royals, one of them had better pop up preggars again. Preferably an unmarried Palin.

(via)

The Palins

American Room

The first time I noticed the room was in the Numa Numa video of 2004, circulated pre-YouTube, in which a New Jersey man named Gary Brolsma danced in his chair to a Moldovan pop song called “Dragostea din tei.”

The video is blurry; it’s from the world of the 2000s. We can’t see Brolsma’s computer because he’s facing an outward-peering webcam. The camera never moves. Behind him there is an aquarium, maybe for a reptile. Also: The edge of a doorframe. He dances in his chair as music plays. In its YouTube incarnation the video has been played 54,207,045 times.

The curtains are drawn. Some light comes through, casting a small glow on the top left of the air conditioner. It’s daytime. The wall is an undecorated slab of beige. That is the American room.

The American Room

Vagina Gun

Though there is nothing new under the heaven-spanning branches of Yggdrasil, we find on occasion we can still be nonplussed: certain things just make no sense.

Take the following appellation: Jenny McCarthy.

Sounds innocuous enough, right?

Yet the name conjurs up one of this decade’s leading whack jobs; if any single woman could suffer from vaccine induced vagina dentata, it’s Jenny McCarthy. She’s frothy.

So we weren’t all that surprised to read the following:

A domestic dispute over space aliens escalated Saturday morning when a lingerie-clad New Mexico woman allegedly pointed a silver handgun at her boyfriend, a weapon she retrieved from her vagina, where it had been placed while the accused was performing a sex act, police allege.

Sounds like something McCarthy would do…then claim childhood inoculations accounted for her bizarre behavior.

Except it wasn’t Jenny McCarthy, but Jennifer McCarthy:

To make matters more strange, the arrested woman is the most recent ex-wife of Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist Cormac McCarthy, author of “The Road” and “No Country for Old Men.”

[…]

McCarthy’s boyfriend told investigators that following the argument McCarthy departed her Aventura Road residence. Upon returning to the home, he told deputies, McCarthy went into her bedroom and later emerged “wearing lingerie and a silver handgun in her vagina.” She then proceeded to “have inner course with the gun,” according to the court filing.

While using the gat as a sex toy, McCarthy reportedly asked her boyfriend, “Who is crazy, you or me?” The probable cause statement, drafted by Deputy Chris Zook, does not indicate whether McCarthy’s boyfriend dared to answer that query.

Must be the name, huh? 1 2

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Show 2 footnotes

  1. This bit of mise-en-scène could have been pulled directly from Cormac’s Blood Meridian, perhaps after Chihuahua, when the kid has his fortune read when the Clanton gang meets the gypsies (for surely they were); the kid half watching the tarot cards fall, half watching the obviously insane woman slowly inserting a silver revolver up her vagina, withdrawing, inserting it, withdrawing it, inserting… Easy to ignore or miss the reading’s message only to die, decades later, at the hands of a naked, hairless fat man while shitting in a Fort Griffin, Texas, outhouse. Oh these worlds…
  2. Of course none of the commenters can play it straight. Could you?

Bullshit Jobs

In the year 1930, John Maynard Keynes predicted that, by century’s end, technology would have advanced sufficiently that countries like Great Britain or the United States would have achieved a 15-hour work week. There’s every reason to believe he was right. In technological terms, we are quite capable of this. And yet it didn’t happen. Instead, technology has been marshaled, if anything, to figure out ways to make us all work more. In order to achieve this, jobs have had to be created that are, effectively, pointless. Huge swathes of people, in Europe and North America in particular, spend their entire working lives performing tasks they secretly believe do not really need to be performed. The moral and spiritual damage that comes from this situation is profound. It is a scar across our collective soul. Yet virtually no one talks about it.

Why did Keynes’ promised utopia – still being eagerly awaited in the ’60s never materialize (sic)? The standard line today is that he didn’t figure in the massive increase in consumerism. Given the choice between less hours and more toys and pleasures, we’ve collectively chosen the latter. This presents a nice morality tale, but even a moment’s reflection shows it can’t really be true. Yes, we have witnessed the creation of an endless variety of new jobs and industries since the ’20s, but very few have anything to do with the production and distribution of sushi, iPhones, or fancy sneakers.

So what are these new jobs, precisely? A recent report comparing employment in the US between 1910 and 2000 gives us a clear picture (and I note, one pretty much exactly echoed in the UK). Over the course of the last century, the number of workers employed as domestic servants, in industry, and in the farm sector has collapsed dramatically. At the same time, professional, managerial, clerical, sales, and service workers tripled, growing from one-quarter to three-quarters of total employment. In other words, productive jobs have, just as predicted, been largely automated away (even if you count industrial workers globally, including the toiling masses in India and China, such workers are still not nearly so large a percentage of the world population as they used to be).

But rather than allowing a massive reduction of working hours to free the world’s population to pursue their own projects, pleasures, visions, and ideas, we have seen the ballooning not even so much of the “service” sector as of the administrative sector, up to and including the creation of whole new industries like financial services or telemarketing, or the unprecedented expansion of sectors like corporate law, academic and health administration, human resources, and public relations. And these numbers do not even reflect on all those people whose job is to provide administrative, technical, or security support for these industries, or for that matter the whole host of ancillary industries (dog-washers, all-night pizza deliverymen) that only exist because everyone else is spending so much of their time working in all the other ones.

These are what I propose to call “bullshit jobs.”

(via)

Think I’ve had two or three of these bullshit jobs over the years.

The author hits home with what many of have long thought with…

The answer clearly isn’t economic: it’s moral and political. The ruling class has figured out that a happy and productive population with free time on their hands is a mortal danger (think of what started to happen when this even began to be approximated in the ’60s). And, on the other hand, the feeling that work is a moral value in itself, and that anyone not willing to submit themselves to some kind of intense work discipline for most of their waking hours deserves nothing, is extraordinarily convenient for them.

A “happy and productive population with free time on their hands”? WTF? That’s not the America I we know and love, right?

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Buh-bye, Detroit!

Buh-bye, Detroit…


DETROIT (AP) Once the very symbol of American industrial might, Detroit became the biggest U.S. city to file for bankruptcy Thursday, its finances ravaged and its neighborhoods hollowed out by a long, slow decline in population and auto manufacturing.

The filing, which had been feared for months, put the city on an uncertain path that could mean laying off municipal employees, selling off assets, raising fees and scaling back basic services such as trash collection and snow plowing, which have already been slashed.

“Only one feasible path offers a way out,” Gov. Rick Snyder said in a letter approving the move.

If you haven’t been paying attention until now? Kansas City’s clock just started ticking…
Buh-bye, Detroit!