Editor’s Note: The following is all “inside baseball”; if you are not a SiriusXM subscriber, come back later; I’m reasonably certain I’ll have some paranoid, dystopian post for you to peruse then.
Hello…I must be going.
It’s time to say goodbye to not only another year, but what has been perhaps the most rewarding professional experience of my life. It has truly been a privilege to play even a small role in the creation and growth of what has become a thriving and successful broadcasting operation. Safe to say 17 years on we have put to rest the mantra surrounding us at the start, “Nobody will pay for radio, you guys are crazy!”
And with that, Mike Marrone, the heart and soul of the best satellite radio station available, The Loft, walked away. Not that you would know it; there’s been absolutely no media coverage. Unlike, say, if MicroDick left the same company.
Still…The Loft abides.
The station has lost iconic DJs before, most recently Vin Scelsa. However legendary DJs yet remain: Meg Griffin, Frannie Thomas and David Johansen. Chris Muckley came on board late last summer and immediately started killing it. 1 2 Which would be just fine, perhaps even great…were we allowed to listen to the station for which we subscribed. Sadly, that’s not the case.
In a decision that reeks of early senile dementia to rival the president*’s 3, SiruisXM has preempted, again 4, the Loft satellite channel for a “pop up” channel. The theme? Eagles music, 24/7. Which means if you don’t stream The Loft in your car, the car you bought a satellite receiver for, via the app, you’re fucked. 5
Can there really be that many (non senile dementia suffering) boomers left willing to cough up hard cash for commercially interrupted ’70s radio? Most likely not, else SiriusXm might have turned a profit over the decades before just last year.
No, something else is going on.
A petition to restore The Loft to itself sprung up about 10 AM CST and already has nearly 1000 signatures.
Theories abound on The Loft’s FB page as to why our favorite station keeps getting high-jacked for 2nd to 3rd rate inane entertainment; we have even posited that Darth Vader — noted alt-right billionaire/Trump supporter, majority holder of all voting stock in Liberty Media, which in turn owns the majority of all stock in SiriusXM — dislikes the overt liberalism and protest music of The Loft so much he is determined to kill it, much as the Sinclair Group has taken to pushing pro-Trump propaganda at the TV stations it keeps acquiring instead of presenting objective journalism.
As Mike himself has in the past noted, satellite channels are expensive. Indeed, just owning and maintaining satellites are expensive. Sirius has had to pay on these monstrosities for over a decade, in addition to shelling out through the nose for MicroDick and Woman Who Sits at the Right Hand of God when they purchased XM, an enormous miscalculation on their part. Had Liberty Media not bailed out the new SiriusXM organization, we wouldn’t even have the crappy Road Barf radio today, much less The Loft.
So, yeah, I can almost understand why Sirius management is trying to ween subscribers off the satellite channels; it’s BYOD all over again: You own the streaming device, whether it’s in your car or on your phone, it’s overhead SiriusXM doesn’t have to pay for.
However, if that’s what’s going on, fuck ’em. The company should just be honest about their new model, offer a one-time buyout for all the devices they sold us, or a partial rebate that can be used toward acquiring new streaming technology. But instead SiriusXM fucks about, pisisg off their subscribers.
You happen to know what Google does when they have an outage on their gB fiber network?
We do. Google issues an apology to everyone effected, calculates your outage in black and white monetary terms, and refunds that to you on your next bill.
ALL WITHOUT BEING ASKED, BEGGED OR IMPLORED.
Any SiriusXM subscriber ever receive an email explaining that the company was going to preempt a station and, in order to make up for the inconvenience, offer a refund to the habitual listeners of The Loft at a pro rated amount?
I didn’t think so.
Regardless of the company’s intent, it is disheartening to see them fumble around like this with what should be an ordinary customer service issue. Simple bad management practices have killed more companies than all the ill conceived ideas put together.
Let’s keep our collective fingers crossed and hope for the best.
Finally, we started with Mike Marrone – let’s end that way.
From one of his old play lists (with substitutions where necessary; contrary to what you might think, you can’t find everything on the innernetz…); goodbye, Mike, and keep us in your heart. Thanks for everything.
- If you happen to find Muckley’s play list for August 25th, 2017, from roughly 5 PM CST to 9:00 PM CST, give that shit a listen; that music floated my car from northern Missouri down to the boot-heel without a hitch: Seamless. I’ve been a fan since. ↩
- Also? Don’t believe your lying eyes when it comes to the SiriusXM schedule; they’re just trolling us. ↩
- If you’re new here, please know we’ve unfortunate, up close and personal experience with Alzheimer’s; the president* exhibits all the classic signs of same, though we could be wrong and his issue is vascular, thus ‘senile dementia’. However, in the end, it matters not which diagnosis is correct: The president* is physically and mentally incapable of carrying out the duties of his office and should be immediately removed. That said, we do not expect his ouster to occur; remember Ronnie Ray-gun? His family and staff knew going into his second term that the dotard was thus afflicted but — much like the situation with our current president* — kept it from the public while they ran roughshod over the Republic behind the scenes; McConnell and his ilk have profited (and intend to further profit) from the president*’s low intelligence combined with his ongoing cognitive decline. That “complete physical” the president* promised to undergo this month? Yeah, don’t expect much out of that… ↩
- Think this is the third ‘pop up’ in the last twelve months. The worst of which, IMHO, was Road Barf radio. Indescribably bad. ↩
- Also…anyone who doesn’t own a smart phone, which includes us. Fortunately we work from home, with internet connectivity, and are still golden. Though we’re still out an estimated $13 p/m for a service SiriusXM refuses to provide. ↩
- What? Us worry? ↩