Uppity Niggers

WASHINGTON — Generalissimo Donaldo Juan Trumpo on Sunday issued a new executive order indefinitely banning all travel to Washington, DC, for all NFL and NBA teams, citing serious threats to his massive ego from uppity niggers’ proximity to the White House.

On Sunday’s “This Week,” Treasury Secretary Steve “Foreclosure King” Mnuchin supported His Liege, arguing the NFL “has all types of rules” and that “They (the players) can do free speech on their own time.”

This is a stance historically promulgated by U.S. slave owners, and tacitly supported by a minority of the country’s general populace.

However of late athlete slaves have taken a contrary stance that has upset the Generalissimo and the minority of mouth breathers and deplorables who voted for him.

It is also being reported that the Generalissimo is considering new rules that would allow the administration to deport, as early as next Tuesday, the more “flagrant” uppity niggers.

Sources, who wish to remain anonymous because they are not allowed to publicly comment but still believe the Generalissimo is a fat-headed horse’s ass, state the first athletes on the ever growing list are “that son of a bitch Colin Kaepernick” and “that loser Steph Curry.”

“Let’s see how well those loser sons of bitches play in a CIA black site,” the Generalissimo is reported to have chuckled.

Kaepernick and Curry have refused further comment, though a common friend noted: “What’s left to say? The president* is an unreconstructed asshole. Better yet, in the immortal words of Chris Kluwe, he’s a narcissistic fromunda stain. You can’t reason with that shit.”

Observers suggested that the Ninth Circuit Court could overturn the order as it appears unconstitutional on its face, but both the NFL and the NBA have demurred.

“Nah, why bother; we don’t want to go see that loser anyway”, said almost everybody.

Kaepernick, a starting Super Bowl quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers, is currently not under contract for being an uppity nigger; Step Curry, whom many analysts consider the greatest shooter in NBA history, is apparently also considered an uppity nigger by the Generalissimo.

In the Age of Trump

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