Lees and Orts

OMP called confessed killer –and incidentally Phillipines’ President Duterte– “Rodrigo.”

And, of course, OMP relayed to Duterte “I just wanted to congratulate you because I am hearing of the unbelievavle job (you are) doing on the drug problem.” You know, as in going out and personally killing drug “dealers.”

And there’s more – read the transcript for yourself.

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Got to be careful with those jokes: From Mock Paper Sissors, which you should definitely be reading:

TAMPA –  At a time when journalists are under fire both literally and figuratively, Tampa Mayor Bob Buckhorn’s “joke” this week at a military conference about pointing twin 50 caliber machine guns at journalists and watching them “cry like little girls” rankled several reporters in the room.

…At the conference, Buckhorn told a crowd of more than 1,000 commando and defense industry leaders about his experience as a “hostage” during a demonstration of special ops rescue tactics. The highlight, he said, was when he was aboard a Navy special warfare boat, firing blanks from 50-caliber machine guns.

“And so the first place I point that gun is at the media,”  he told the crowd. “I’ve never seen grown men cry like little girls, for when that gun goes off those media folks just hit the deck like no one’s business. It’s great payback. I love it.”

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Meanwhile, down in The Grate State of Tex-ass:

HOUSTON — Texas State Rep. Jessica Farrar, D-Houston, filed a bill Friday that would penalize men for “unregulated masturbatory emissions.”

The satirical House Bill 4260 would encourage men to remain “fully abstinent” and only allow the “occasional masturbatory emissions inside health care and medical facilities,” which are described in the legislation as the best way to ensure men’s health.

Farrar said she created the bill after feeling fed up with the various legislative bills introduced by men addressing women’s healthcare.
“A lot of people find the bill funny,” Farrar said in a phone interview. “What’s not funny are the obstacles that Texas women face every day, that were placed there by legislatures making it very difficult for them to access healthcare.”

A man would face a $100 penalty for each emission made outside of a vagina or medical facility. Such an emission would be considered “an act against an unborn child, and failing to preserve the sanctity of life,” according to the legislation.

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From Zimbabwe comes further proof that belief in imaginary, supernatural beings is a mug’s game:

A pastor from a local church in White River Mpumalanga died this morning trying to demonstrate a biblical miracle to his (sic) congregants.

Past Jonathan Mthethwa of the “Saint Of The Last Days” churched drowned into the crocodile infested river also known as the Crocodile River and was seen by his church members getting eaten by 3 crocodiles.

“The pastor taught us about faith on Sunday last week. He promised he would demonstrate his faith to us today, but he unfortunately ended up drowning and getting eaten by 3 large crocodiles in front of us. We still don’t understand how this happened because he fasted and prayed the whole week,” said Deacon Nkosi, who is one of the church members.

It is said that Pastor Mthewa walked into the water and when he was 30 meters inside the river, he attempted to ascend above the water so he can start walking, but the 3 crocodiles appeared out of no where and started feasting on him.

“They finished him in a couple of minutes. All that was left of him when they finished eating him is a pair of sandals and his underwear floating above the water,” said Deacon Nkosi.

Depending upon what scripture one uses, and how that “scripture” is interpreted, the pastor’s underwear floating above the water could be deemed a miracle, n’est-ce pas?
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Pastor-eating crocodiles related:

A record low percentage of Americans believe that the Bible is “actual word of God,” with more calling it a “book of fables,” similar to Aesop’s, according to a new survey.

Gallup reports that just 24 percent believe the Bible should be taken “literally, word for word.”

“This is the first time in Gallup’s four-decade trend that biblical literalism has not surpassed biblical skepticism,” said the pollster.

By comparison 26 percent view the Bible as “a book of fables, legends, history and moral precepts recorded by man.”

Sadly 47% –or about the same number of “real Amurikans” who voted for OMP— still think it is the “inspired word of God but that not all of it should be taken literally.”

Much more work to do…
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A quick note of thanks to Tengrain, who is picking and choosing this week’s links over at Crooks and Liars – much appreciated.

Lees and Orts

And finally…

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