Surveillance Society

JEFFERSON CITY – With crowds gathering for public protests, in Missouri and across the country, seemingly becoming the new normal, a state representative in Jefferson City aims to set down some new ground rules.

Republican Don Phillips from Kimberling City in southwest Missouri wants to make it illegal to wear a mask during a protest while crimes are being committed. Those crimes could range from looting to disorderly conduct.

“If there’s illegal activity going on, that’s when this kicks in,” said Representative Phillips.

HB179 will get its first public hearing in the Crime Prevention and Public Safety Committee, a committee chaired by Phillips, next week.

If it’s signed into law by Governor Eric Greitens, wearing a mask during a protest when crimes are being committed would be a Class B (sic 1) Misdemeanor.

“Public safety and law enforcement are two of the governor’s priorities,” Phillips told Five on Your Side. “I think it’s something he would be OK with, should it make it to his desk.”

Anyone who covers their face for religious or cultural reasons would be exempt from the proposed law.

Oh, shades of Kansas City’s infamous red light camera program!

Rep. Don Phillips (apparent moron and obvious ¡pendejo!) seems hell-bent on having his (putative) law end up before the Missouri Supreme Court. Much like Sly and the Council Stoned’s red light program, Phillips’ proposed ordinance is all kinds of stupid. Not to mention illegal:

This bill creates the crime of concealing a person’s identity if he or she is committing the crime of unlawful assembly or rioting and intentionally conceals his or her identity by the means of a robe, mask, or other disguise. If the defendant is wearing a robe, mask, or other disguise required by his or her religious beliefs, for safety, or for medical purposes, then the defendant will have an affirmative defense.

The crime of concealing a person’s identity is a Class A misdemeanor.

Hmmm; a few questions:

  • How does the Norsefire Party prove “intention”? 2
  • How does the Norsefire Party define religion? 3
  • As there is no way authorities can in advance be aware of an “unlawful assembly” 4, how can this bullhit excuse for a (putative) law ever be enforced?

Folks, there is a reason why soon it will be illegal in all 50 states to smile for your driver’s license photo – it fucks with the omnipresent facial recognition system.

Wake up, people. 5

Surveillance Society

Show 5 footnotes

  1. The actual text {see below} designates the offence as a Class A misdemeanor.
  2. It’s hard to keep those strainers atop one’s head; they often inadvertently slide down, covering one’s face.
  3. The CFSM is a legally recognized religion. As is our own denomination – Dudeism: In keeping with its tenents, we may well appear in public sporting a lovely sleeping mask, motherfuckers.
  4. Defined in Misosuri as “six or more people assemble and agree to violate criminal laws with force or violence”.
  5. A proven way to beat facial recognition is the use of colorful, wildly patterned oversize glass frames. Or get your funk on with Adam Harvey’s cammo wear.

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