The Dims will get over the fact the Russians like the GOP better and try and find a state-sponsored hacking group to return them to power in 2018.
The Rich will get immensely richer, and the rest of us will take in the shorts. Again.
The Manchurian President-elect’s Department of Justice allows AT&T to buy Time Warner with almost no restrictions. ]
The ACA is repealed…though not replaced for up to 3 years; folks looking for new coverage will find it; at a higher cost; and only if they have no pre-existing conditions.
The Manchurian President-elect will double down on his Twitter usage. He will also turn out to be The Ghost President, so named for his famous fear of facing the media live. ]
Mayor James will double down on his street car, fucked up roads, sidewalks and piss poor lighting be damned.
Giants vs Patriots in the Super Bowl: Patriots win, deflated balls or no.
Oscars: Kenneth Lonergan for Best Director (Manchester By the Sea); La La Land for Best Picture; Casey Affleck takes Best Actor (Manchester By the Sea); Natalie Portman wins Best Actress (Jackie). Was there a Disney movie this year? Did it feature a couple of songs? Then, by rule, it wins: “How Far I’ll Go” (Moana.)
Both Snapchat and Dropbox offer IPOs.
Both the Dow and S&P will have fallen more than 15% by the end of 2017. [18 . This will be precipitated –like the last tech bubble– by unrealistic P&E rations as well as an emerging markets crisis brought on by a dollar shortage.]
Given the unqualified success of WNBTv‘s 2016 predictions, we thought it only fitting to offer our thoughts for the coming year:
- Little Kimmie Kardashian says “enough”, divorces Kanye West; Kanye joins the Manchurian President-elect’s administration, ’cause he, too, has “all the best words.”
- Angela Merkel wins the Nobel Peace Prize.
- Erin Little will leave KMBC.
- Cubbies win the World Series again against LA Dodgers.
- Popular baby names in 2017: Harambe, Nasty Woman, Negan, Forrest, Theo, Bre, Vegan and Hope.
- Most of California is pulled into the ocean by a massive earthquake.
- Hackers will continue to exploit IoT devices, most likely using Edwin, the app-connected smart duck. Similarly, drone jacking will become a major thang. Oh, and the Internet will be down for at least a day this year.
- Snapchat’s Spectacles and Apple’s AirPods are YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE hits.
- The Manchurian President-elect will do something stupid.
- Tesla starts shipping its solar roof product, but can’t remotely keep up with demand.
- Adele and Beyoncé will announce the coming of The Star Child.
- The Queen Mum dies in her sleep, which –in theory—would have allowed allowing Charles to finally get his freak on. But Charles is 68 and one simply doesn’t get their freak on at that age; chances are he will abdicate the throne to William who, at 34, has a couple of decades to act badly before he also winds down.