My house is full of females; Nora, the Astas and FluffyRainbowSparkleHoney. 1 All of whom monopolize the upstairs shower. 2 So I know hair. Hair in the drain, hair on the shower walls, hair on every wash cloth you can imagine, hair on the bar of soap, hair everyfuckingwhere. I know hair. And I can tell you for a fact I’ve pulled yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge hairballs out of the shower drain that are more qualified to be president than Donald Trump.
Moreover, as a friend mentioned the other day…”I would trust Clinton with my son. Would you trust Trump with your daughters?”
Uh, fuck no.
Trump is clueless. Literally. The man has no idea how unqualified for the presidency he is. He is the epitome the Dunning-Kruger effect. Put baldly, Trump is so stupid he doesn’t realize he’s stupid. So while it was no surprise to watch Hillary quietly tear him a new asshole in the first presidential debate, it was equally unsurprising to discover Trump thought he won that debate. 5
But Mike Pence isn’t as stupid as Trump. The man’s a sitting governor with a semi-religious political agenda he’s pushed for a number of years. Though last night’s debate could reasonably be considered a push 6, Tim Kaine did a much more effective job of defending Clinton’s proposals than Pence did bearding for Trump. Of course that could simply be because Pence wasn’t defending Trump so much as he was laying the groundwork for his 2020 run. And when Pence wasn’t running for President-in-the-Future, he was pretty much pretending Trump and his riotous mouth didn’t exist. Which won’t win you many points.
Several commentators compared both men to cartoon villains. We can’t speak about Kaine, but we can certainly envision Pence looking at Hillary and saying “No, Mrs. Clinton. I expect you to die!”
In the end we didn’t see anything that will move the polls one way or another.
- Yeah, the Astas could never settle on a name. Mostly they just say: “Here, pup-pup. C’mon, here’s a good pup-pup!” ↩
- Yes, to include FluffyRainbowSparkleHoney when she gets her biweekly bath. ↩
- Where the fuck is batman when you need him? ↩
- Then there’s this: Picture that you and your friends sitting around Harry’s County Club making plans for the weekend. Five of you vote to meet up with your families at the RenFest. Two of your friends want to go setting dogs on fire. Though, through no little persuasion, everyone ends up at the RenFest…you are aware you still have a couple of friends who think torture and murder are A-OK! Yeah, that’s the aftermath of this election. ↩
- It’s worth noting here that the last person I saw sniff that often for that long was Charlie Sheen. He also thought he was winning. ↩
- As the WaPo put it: “Pence Wins, Trump Loses” And that’s even with Pence lying about prosecuting women over abortion. ↩