Lees and Orts

I took a daily break at Café Parvis while Nora and the Astas went about consuming…stuff.

The consensus among both wait staff and customers was that Hair Furer is not tanking this election on purpose, rather his candidacy is an elaborate prank 1; the USA is trolling the rest of the world. Montrealians believe we will fess up soon, call the whole thing off, laugh, shake hands and apologize for carrying the joke too far.

Then we’ll go ahead and elevate the usual economically retarded, xenophobic, hidebound Christian zealot (Mike Pence) as the GOP presidential candidate.

Failing that, they intend –quite rightly, IMHO– to build a wall.

Lees and Orts

And speaking of Canadian maple syrup

The 20,000 litre-batch of maple syrup was supposed to be shipped to Japan last Thursday, but Mexuscan Transport had been forced to store the shipment at the holding facility due to a delay.

Police recovered the trailer in the west Montreal borough of Saint Laurent, but the maple syrup was gone.

Although the theft could prove costly for Mexuscan, it’s not the sweetest heist ever pulled off in Quebec. That distinction belongs to the massive maple syrup heist of 2011-2012, in which 2.7 million litres of the stuff were stolen from a warehouse in Quebec. The syrup was estimated to be worth $18 million. More than a dozen individuals were later arrested in the case.

There’s a $10K reward offered if “you” return the syrup. 2

Lees and Orts

The Dallas Police Department is trying to suppress all evidence it has relating to its use of a bomb robot to kill the man suspected of killing four police officers at a Black Lives Matter protest last month. It has asked the Texas attorney general to allow it to withhold information that is “embarrassing” and has said that much of the evidence is “of no legitimate concern to the public.”

And we’re supposed to let the Dallas police decide what is “of no legitimate concern to the public”? Third world shithole, here we come… 3 4

Lees and Orts
In other Baphomet news

The mundanity of a local council meeting in Alaska was astonishingly broken when a decision to open up the forum to all religions resulted in a Satanist presenting the opening prayer – to Lucifer.

When the local government of Kenai Borough decided to welcome other faiths to their assemblies they probably didn’t envisage opening up their doors to the Lord of Darkness.

On Tuesday, Iris Fontana – reportedly a member of the Satanic Temple organization that views Satan as a symbol for rebellion and rational inquiry – gave the assembly invocation usually reserved for pastors.

Meeting attendees were reminded that they did not have to participate in the opening ritual.

Assembly members stood silently in a circle while Fontana asked them to “embrace the Luciferian impulse to eat of the tree of knowledge.” She then ended the surreal prayer with the words “Hail Satan.”

These temples are springing up everywhere: Kansas City soon?
Of course there’s video!

Lees and Orts

And in today’s Homer Simpson’s “Doh!” category, lots of newspapers discover that paywalls don’t work.

Of the paywalls erected in the past few years, many have delivered lackluster results, said Ken Doctor, a media consultant who writes the blog Newsonomics.

“The ones that were launched in 2012 to 2014 had good early results and they all largely stalled,” he said.

“They are no longer gaining much in the way of new digital subscriptions, and their print is in rapid decline.”

…Paywalls can backfire also “because they put a barrier between the newspaper and the casual reader,” he added.

“They are truncating the size of the digital market, when the most important factor for digital is scale.” 5

This might explain the Star’s on again, off again paywall. Or it might just be poor tech. Either way…

Lees and Orts

Last minute sale on necessary school items…

Trojan Horse

Show 5 footnotes

  1. Obama and Clinton created ISIS: What fresh fuckery is this?”
  2. This was BIG news last Friday; couldn’t get anyone in Café Parvis to talk about anything else.
  3. Seriously, how embarrassing could the videos be? Do they record the DPD saying shit like “We’re not letting this jackoff leave here alive”? Granted, that’s embarrassing, AND actionable. Though I’m sure some of the officers involved may have muttered same, and ALL of the officers involved were thinking same, chances are the whole operation was your standard seat-of-your-pants clusterfuck: totally disorganized and replete with operational failures up and down the chain of command.
  4. Or maybe the DPD is just ashamed of the fact their department is so behind the times, or financially inept, that they could not deploy the latest technology: miniature assignation drones.
  5. Evidence of this is the fact the WSJ is adjusting its paywall to make it easier for non-paying users to access their site.

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