Fan Mail From Some Flounder

August 1st, 2016

Dear Nick,

I know you’re busy in Boston but I wondered if you might settle a bet for us. We’ve been talking about who makes up Trump’s fan base. I say it’s mostly the GOP’s dispossessed and my husband claims it’s Independents, right-leaning liberals and Democrats (if there’s any distinction between those two groups) augmenting a core Republican group.

Please try and answer this one straight. There’s a Christopher Elbow Chocolate Gift Tower package on the line if I win and I love that stuff.

Thanks.
Callie James
KCMO

Callie,

As it happens I have the day off 1 2 so let’s jump right to it.

There’s nothing complicated about Trump’s fan base. They are the Tea Party, rebranded. Which is just another way of saying Trumpists are the Republican party. They are the predominantly bleeding-edge, white-male Boomers angriest about their own lack of education and, not just coincidentally, a gotdamt blackie in the White House. They are the far-right, Christian terrorists of the Republican party.

They are Republicans. They hate women/LGBTs/Liberals/anyone not like themselves. They blame everyone for their perpetual misery but their own leaders’ policies. They are the people who beat their wife or kick their dog when a voice on he phone says “Press 2 for Spanish.” They barricade themselves in their homes holding weapons on family members when that same voice says “Presione dos para español.”

They are Republicans. They are the rigid authoritarians that twisted traditional conservatism into a religious-right Gordian knot in order to shove an un-democratic agenda onto the country; they are the Republicans in Congress baldly refusing to obey the Constitution by not giving Obama’s SCOTUS pick a single hearing, instead claiming “the next president” should fill the empty seat.

They are Republicans pushing their bigoted, hidebound vision of America on us, willingness be damned; lie back and think of William F. Buckley .

As the Tea Party led to Trumpism, Trumpism will inevitably lead to an overt resurgence of the KKK wing of the Republican party; Representatives and certain Senators will wear their flowing white robes in the halls of Congress. Because, you know…the Southern Strategy was apparently too subtle.

They are Republicans, they are Trumpists. 3

Sorry, Callie; I’m, pretty sure I fucked up your chances at the Christopher Elbow chocolates.

On the other hand your husband was so off base he ought to pay a penalty. Maybe just a couple of pieces of Elbow’s chocolates? 4

Peace,
Nick

Fan Mail From Some Flounder

Show 4 footnotes

  1. That would be Wednesday; I’ve scheduled this response and another couple of posts to auto-magically publish tomorrow, Thursday, the 4th.
  2. Thanks for asking, I’m holding my own: Charalambides Nick 8K US 1 0= 317+ 296- 23½ 1 0 69. I know, right!
  3. “Trump is Trump,” observes John Noonan, a former national security aide to Mitt Romney and Jeb Bush who has sworn off voting for the GOP nominee this year. “You can pull somebody out of the insane asylum and staff him with the best people in the business, and he’s still going to be in the parking lot screaming about the book of Revelations and there’s nothing you can do about it. Hillary’s the placekicker on the field. She’s shanking every kick. And Trump’s the guy pleasuring himself in the stands.”
  4. Nora tells me Elbow’s chocolates are sinfully expensive. Something like $10 a bar? Psssht! Besides, it’s too far away from The Cigar Box where, after some chicken spiedini, I might be tempted to walk down to try one. And what’s with the hours? Closes at 6:00 PM? Hell, I wouldn’t even start with drinks at the Cigar Box until 8:00 PM.

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