Fan Mail From Some Flounder

29 June 2016

Dear M. Charalambides,

Bonjour, comment ça va? Bien, bien….

I’m afraid we’ve not met, nor, honestly, have I previously visited your web site. Nothing against you, your site appears top notch. I just tend to get wrapped up in whatever I’m doing. For example I have the hilarious honor of having been the shortest serving Canadian PM. Then for a good while I chaired the Council of Women World Leaders, and after that I wrote a small book. Oh, and the husband and I produced a smallish play in LA…

The point here is I tend to keep busy and so have not kept up with the “must read” blogs, of which I am very nearly sure your efforts qualify.

Having said all that, your blog did turn up rather high in Google’s search results for “Trump”, The Donald”, “Donald Trump asshole”, and most relevantly, “Donald Trump begging emails.” You see I’ve received several campaign solicitations from your Mr. Trump.

And it’s not just myself: British MPs (who soon won’t have a pot to piss in, thanks to Brexit) and both Natalie and Staurt have been bothered by this jumped up hooligan:

I see where you told the old tosser to step off and my question is this: Did it work? Has the great buffoon stopped bothering you? Because if all it takes is calling him out in public, I’m all for it. Good grief – most Canadian newspapers would LOVE to publish my open letter to the old letch.

However, I have my doubts…if all it takes is a bit of public humiliation to back down the scoundrel, why in the world hasn’t he long since suspended his “campaign” and slunk back in shame to one of his tacky casinos?

I want to thank you in advance for your time and consideration. I know you must be as busy as myself.

Best Regards,
Kim Campbell

Dear Ms. Campbell,

I wish I could say that Trump immediately put a halt to his begging campaign. Alas, however, that would be untrue. Ultimately I resorted to marking all email from him and his campaign as both “junk” and spam. 1 This has the saltatory effect of deleting the missives sight unseen. Might I suggest you do the same?

In addition perhaps you have some familiarity with the U.S. campaign laws? It is patently illegal for Trump or his campaign solicit funding from foreign individuals. Were you of a mind, you might file a complaint with our Federal Election Commission, as inarguably the Trump campaign has broken federal law.

Best Regards,
Nick Charalambides

p.s. – if you could see your way clear to asking Natalie, Stuart (and whomever else might want to join in on the fun) to also file complaints with our FEC, I’d be ever so grateful.

Fan Mail From Some Flounder

Show 1 footnote

  1. Yes, I did follow the links at the bottom of the emails and an “unsubscribed” myself from all lists. To no fucking avail, I might mention…

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