Fan Mail From Some Flounder

16 June 2016

Nick,

One year ago today, you helped start a movement never before seen in America.
Americans who never voted before — who had given up on our political system — rallied together to save our country. Obama, the media, the political elite — everyone said we were destined to lose. But we won in a massive landslide, and we will keep winning until we Make America Great Again!

Nick, on the anniversary of our movement, I’m asking you to make a contribution to help us win and Make America Great Again! This movement isn’t about me. It’s not even about the Republican Party. It’s about America. It’s about making sure every American can live in a free, safe, and prosperous country.

Millions of Americans are sick and tired of seeing our country lose. We’re losing on the border, on trade, on security — on EVERYTHING.
But the Silent Majority refuses to stand by and watch our country go to hell.

We’ve achieved something incredible. But the fight’s not over. Crooked Hillary will do everything she can to crush America with four more years of Obama’s policies.

That’s why I need your help.

On the anniversary of this great movement, I’m personally asking you to make a contribution to win. Contribute $250, $100, $50, or $35 to help us win and Make America Great Again!

Thank you and God bless,
Donald J. Trump

P.S. Today is the anniversary of our campaign’s launch. Make a contribution of $250, $100, $50, or $35 in honor of our great movement.

Hey, dickhead,

Stop with all the fuckin’ spam already.

Despite what the clueless folks at Advertising Age believe, I happen to know you ARE begging for cash via email – this is the 10th email in 2 weeks I’ve received from you.

Which is weird as I’m far more aligned with Bernie than Hillary; you aren’t even a pus-filled acne bump on the edge of my radar screen. Which is sad: if you were I’d just pop the damned thing and be done with it, possible scar be damned.

Just go away, okay? No one wants you or your tiny hands anywhere near them. Take the hint and crawl back into whatever double mortgaged hotel remains to you, lock the doors and stay there until Thanksgiving.

I suppose it’s okay if you continue to tweet utter nonsense – it amuses a whole lot of people, brightening their day.

Just stop with the fuckin spam, okay?

Worst Regards,
Nick

Repeal the Second Amendment

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