Lees and Orts

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Lees and Orts

A reasoned response to the madness that is Power Ball:

Lees and Orts

A belated С Рождеством Христовым to all of KC’s Russian émigrés…

Lees and Orts

In one of the neo-ironic twists of modern politics, Mr. Comb-over himself has readjusted his aim and is firing birther rounds for effect directly at Ted Cruz. 1 While there are –IMHO– any number of reasons to question ReThug primary candidates’ suitability for the presidency (yes, I’m including Trump), their citizenship should not be one of them.

Ke-rist, people – it’s not like Cruz is from Kenya. He’s from Canada! 2 Which is more American these days that the U.S.  Well…at least they are if you don’t take into account their Keystone pipeline idée fixe.

And this fixation may just turn around and bite them.

“TransCanada has filed a lawsuit against the Obama administration and plans to file a claim under the North American Free Trade Agreement over the U.S. government’s rejection of the company’s proposed Keystone XL pipeline.”

Seems TransCanada is unfamiliar with the concept of sovereign immunity. Perhaps they took this step in a half conscious state, nearly smothered as they are by eau de Koch. Either way it should be fun to watch the proceedings…

Lees and Orts

Dennis Miller gets more Hobbesian by the day; we’re surprised he’s not yet been videoed in public swatting at kids with a rolled up newspaper. The following is from a guest appearance on The O’Reilly Factor this past Wednesday:

I don’t think this (pot) is the end of the world,” he said, “but I do think that when you take a sedentary, unmotivated, and uncurious population and you garnish it with a little weed, it doesn’t augur well for the country. If we get much more lazy in this country, I’m going to start getting stoned. When in decline — recline.”

Witty and not totally off base. Still we’re always amazed at how people who simply talk for a living believe they are accurate barometers concerning how hard the rest of the country works.

It’s like they’re stoned or something.

Lees and Orts

Yet another thought on America’s obsession with our national binky, guns. The below is from Washington’s first SOTU address:

Among the many interesting objects which will engage your attention that of providing for the common defense will merit particular regard. To be prepared for war is one of the most effectual means of preserving peace.

A free people ought not only to be armed, but disciplined; to which end a uniform and well-digested plan is requisite; and their safety and interest require that they should promote such manufactories as tend to render them independent of others for essential, particularly military, supplies.

The proper establishment of the troops which may be deemed indispensable will be entitled to mature consideration. In the arrangements which may be made respecting it, it will be of importance to conciliate the comfortable support of the officers and soldiers with a due regard to economy.

Washington is misquoted a lot in support of current idiots’ “rights” to possess M-16s or worse in order to kill scores of children, movie goers and anyone else out and about in the public agora.

Lees and Orts

Speaking of liars:

Should Trump actually be elected president of our Idiocracy, is this how he proposes to deal with Putin? How statesman-like. As is his current hissy fit with the UK.

Remember the “Keep The Donald From Our Shores” campaign we mentioned? Well, it will actually bear some fruit: on January 18th the House of Commons will meet to debate over the public petition. 3 This past December, in response to the petition, the government said it ‘may exclude’ someone (Trump) is their presence is “non-conducive to the public good”.

Thin-skinned as always, Trump fired back this week, promising to pull (an est.) £700m in development from Scotland should he be banned from the isle.

If it was us, we’d call Trump’s bluff; we’re from Kansas City and can tell you to the farthing how little promised development cash means. 4

Lees and Orts

Show 4 footnotes

  1. This in parallel to some birther’s calling out Rubio as an “anchor baby”.
  2. Oh, but for the unfortunate twist of fate that brought Cruz’s daddy to Texas for work! Had the family remained in Canada Teddy would, at most, be a minor local representative: evangelicals comprise up to 35% of the U.S. population (by some accounts) compared to just 8-10% in Canada. So, playing the ‘travel-into-the-past-to-save-the-present’ game, one wouldn’t need to kill Teddy’s daddy, or even whack of his tallywacker. Simply redirecting Cruz Sr.’s migratory path away from the U.S. to say…Kenya would suffice.
  3. Though any decision on the matter will come from Britain’s Home Secretary, Theresa May.
  4. Not worth the spit of a politician’s lie promise, that’s what.

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