Gunslinger Tatiana Duva-Rodriguez, 46, who pegged a couple of rounds at the vehicle of two suspected shoplifters in a Home Depot parking lot in Auburn Hills, Mich., this past October. No word on what excessively expensive items the would-be bandits attempted to steal.

Remember this lady?

She saw a couple of guys pushing a cart of goods out of a Home Depot back in October, watched as they loaded the merchandise in their van and started to drive off.

Moreover, Duva-Rodriguez says she heard a scream.

So she did what any red-blooded, real ‘murican would do: she pulled out her gun and started shooting. ‘Cause…a person was in danger!

Well…at least according to Justice Roberts: Home Depot, having been ascribed personhood exactly like…well, people…was in dire danger of being robbed of the princely sum of (an est.) $1000. Certainly that was worth  possible collateral damage, amirite?

According to a judge, not so much: he revoked Duva-Rodriguez’s concealed carry permit to until at least 2023. And sentenced her to 18 months probation.

“I tried to help, and I learned my lesson that I will never help anybody again,” she told the media afterwards.

Thank Thor. 1


Show 1 footnote

  1. We expect the “good guy with a gun” mythos to be further deflated the very first time some citizen puts their Glock 20 Gen4  up against a couple of people ‘sporting’ assault weapons.

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