Fan Mail From Some Flounder

10 December 2015

Yo, Nick!

So you say you watch Channel 5 news in the early mornings, right? Have you noticed that every morning for no reason I can think of they move a camera over to the side of Aexis del Cid? And it’s only for 20 seconds or less, which is weird. And sometimes she’s not even talking at all. I don’t get it. Could you ask your frineds down at the station why they do that?


Fan Mail From Some Flounder

16 December 2015

You post an awful lot of items about drones so maybe you can tell me why the hell I have to register my 10 year-old’s tiny toy drone or pay freaking civil penalties of up to $27,500 and criminal fines of up to $250,000 and/or up to three years of prison time? Shit pisses me off, man.

Shit Pisses Me Off in Lee’s Summit

Fan Mail From Some Flounder


As we’ve explained before, just because we’ve had notional tacos with Joel Nichols doesn’t mean we know every, or any, other TV news/weather/sports reader in town. 1 2

And truth to tell we hadn’t noticed the camera shot you spoke of: early mornings we watch the weather then go make our bowl of oatmeal. However this week we made a point of sitting through the entire 4:30 AM broadcast and spotted your McGuffin. To be precise, at some point during the last third of KCTV5’s early morning newscasts, the floor/news director has the switcher operator cut to a camera positioned downstage left/left center and aimed upstage right/right center.

The sole purpose of this shot, in our humble opinion, is to highlight Alexis del Cid’s long legs. At least all this week she was perched upon her elevated chair, left leg crossed over the right, face toward the lens. If memory serves, she didn’t have any copy to read, but sat poised, a slight smile on her face, as another reader voiced some transition or another.

In another popular form of entertainment, this is known as “the money shot.”

Believe it or not, this may well be written into her contract. 3

Or it could just be the floor director was bored with the normal canned shots, hard to say.


Fan Mail From Some Flounder

Shit Pisses Me Off,

Dude, you have to register because your kid’s toy is a fucking dangerous weapon! These things are Obama’s personal assassination tools, you just can’t willy-nilly be giving them to kids to use. Think of what could go wrong – they might get caught in your neighbor’s hair, for instance. Or zoom up to 30,000 feet and get sucked into a Southwest Airlines JetBlue’s turbine, thereby rebooting 1977’s Airport, but starring REAL PEOPLE! 4 Worse, it might zip across State Line 5, careen into KCTV5 and accidentally broadcast Alexis del Cid from stage right – THE HORROR!!!! 6 We’re tellin’ ya, toy drones are going to be the next scourge of America!

So do your PATRIOTIC DUTY and get your son something safe for Christmas! For example, Walmart* is having a sale on their Remington 770 rifles in .30-oughtsix (with scope), with NO REGISTRATION REQUIRED! That’s just perfect for a red-blooded 10 year-old.

Gawd bless ‘murica!!!!

Yours in needless bloodshed,

Fan Mail From Some Flounder

Show 6 footnotes

  1. However we can tell you Emmy award-winning producer and investigative journalist Nadia Pflaum moved back from DC just over a week ago and has already posted an item on the Fast Pitch Blog: look for more in-depth pieces from her soon.
  2. Related: we did just have email speaks with an erstwhile reporter who spent nearly 10 years at CTV, the last few of which located in Calgary, Canada; she was less than pleased with an item we posted back in 2012. Does the phrase “gold is backed by nothing” ring a bell?
  3. In Denver we knew a reporter who would not fly with a particular chopper pilot; it was written into her contract. That may have saved her life when the pilot crashed while searching for a plane downed by a winter storm.
  4. No fuckin’ way.
  5. Thereby involving the FBI.
  6. del Cid means ‘of the brave man’, so we expect Alexis could tough that shit out. But …why take chances?

8 thoughts on “Fan Mail From Some Flounder”

    1. We admire your taste.

      Having said that, however, we’re not a pimp. Check KCTV5’s web site – chances are she has an email address by which you can contact here.

      And keep it relatively clean, okay? Chances are the system’s sysadmin is in-house and would likely share inappropriate email around the station. Not to mention she would be less likely to converse with Larry Leisuresuit…

  1. You know it’s funny you mention the channel 5 thing – I’m in the office by 7 so I watch their 5 AM newscast and wondered about that shot too. So I paid more attention today. Guess what? Alexis wasn’t on, some middle aged blond was. And they didn’t do that ‘legs’ shot. Guess I’ll have to wait until tomorrow but I know what you are talking about.

  2. I watch the 4:30 AM broadcast while waiting for the milkman (Go Shatto!) before heading out to work and know that camera angle he’s talking about. He’s right – they cut to it pretty regularly and I noticed today when Ms Long was filling in they stayed pretty much with static front shots. Be interested to see what happens when del Cid returns.

  3. Headed out the door but I thought I’d let you know I just watched the 5 o’clock news and they didn’t do that shot. STill with the middle-aged blond gal too.

      1. Had the wife watch the news this morning. She called to tell me she got up late and only saw the 6:30 broadcast, but that it led off with the “legs” camera shot. And yes it was the middle aged blond gal. Funny stuff. Guess they just do it at random.

  4. We went ice skating last night at Crown Center and ran into Gary Lezak. he was with his wife and (grand)son, the boy was playing among the Christmas themed slides, boxes and such east of the water fountains. Thought about introducing ourselves and asking about the camera angle stuff but that just seemed cruel.

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