Vote Ben Carson

A friend recently pointed out a National Review piece entitled Why the Left Hates America. The article presented a basic contrast & comparison of how liberals and conservatives view our country.

As you might expect liberals did not fare well. Not that I personally fit into the liberal category. Or at least not all of me; some of my thinking could be listed under the libertarian heading, just as some of my beliefs could easily be classed within the narrow construct of conservatism. 1 And quite probably some of my thinking could be construed as fascism…but I wander digress.

The point being “liberals” hate America because we don’t grovel at the feet of slaver Thomas Jefferson (he of The Constitution fame); we want to destroy America because we do not, as Lincoln did, view America as the “Last Best Hope of Earth” (said title seems to befit Canada a little more each passing day); that we take exception to the a priori philosophy of American Exceptionalism. Liberal attitudes, the author states, “betrays a broken moral compass, historical ignorance, and worst of all, ingratitude.”

The National Review is not alone in this argument. Many other publications hold to the theory that progressives/liberals hate and want to destroy America.

So it must be true. Right? Surely that many publications can’t be in error. So I (at least that me that is “progressive/liberal”) am clearly failing in my efforts to destroy the country I “hate.” Time to step up my game.

To that end I have decided to support, in whatever fashion I can, a Carson presidency, since he would destroy America. How do I know this? Let me count the ways:

  • Carson is so deluded he believes (and has recounted over the years) that he was offered a “full scholarship” to West Point;
  • Carson believes the pyramids were built to hold grain…fucking ginormous amounts of grain;
  • Carson went after his moms with a hammer. Or…not. Maybe she came after him with the hammer;
  • Carson tried to stab a childhood friend and would have succeeded but for the Egyptian belt buckle –used to store grain– his friend wore;
  • Carson would refuse to raise the debt ceiling, instead relying on grain sales to steady the world’s economic model;
  • Carson  would order the military to “destroy” ISIS, “untying” the military’s hands…which would mean another 10-year war that would accomplish less than Shrub the Lessor’s Grand Military Adventure…though Carson promises we’ll take all their grain;
  • Carson not only gave Charlie Sheen AIDS, but promises to do the same for the American public by dosing the grain we will steal from ISIS and then putting it into America’s food supply.
  • Carson would not feed pregnant mother’s the AIDS-infected grain, though he would force all pregnant mothers to birth their children…especially in cases of rape and incest. ’cause…slavery!

See?

Once this pathological liar is elected president it would be just a matter of time before his insane beliefs are encoded into our laws and culture, thereby destroying the Republic. The only way the country could circle down the drain quicker is if Carson names The Coif as his VP.

No need to thank me; just doing my part as a progressive/liberal America hater.

Vote Ben Carson

Show 1 footnote

  1. Then there’s those ideas Nora broadly, and loudly, classifies as “stupid.” But let’s not dwell on the outliers, shall we?

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