We were outside for this one, over-seeding the lawn and setting small ‘surprises’ for the squirrels. 1
We had plugged in the Astas’ alarm clock on the front porch and were listening the way Thor intended: out in a waning late summer sun, beer to hand, dead squirrel bits nearby. It was near perfection.
Of course the Royals tried to ruin it. Johnny Cueto –a guy we’re still certain isn’t really a pitcher– was given the ball to start the game and immediately staked the Astros to a 4 run lead. You know….because he could. And the Royals continued their recent trend of approaching plate appearances as though they were playing Ban Johnson games.
But then someone must have mentioned that Sunday down in Minute Maid Park 2 the Royals will be facing a pitcher who in his last 16 innings has thrown no-hit ball. That’s 16 innings of NO HIT BALL. And 8 of those innings were against the Royals.
And so our Boys in Blue woke up…sort of. At least enough to dink out a 1 run lead over the Astros, which allowed them to go to their bullpen.
And we won…kinda.
That shit won’t cut it come Sunday.
- Where ‘surprises’ equals customized M18s. The devices’ effective range of 50 meters is a bit much for a Brookside front yard, especially since we’ve already fielded a number of concerns regarding our unique rodent reduction program; apparently a little noise makes some people rethink their commitment to a rodent-free neighborhood. ↩
- Have we mentioned what a pussy name that is for a ball field? ↩