For decades, perhaps even the better part of a century, baseball fans have known that there was a chance that a foul ball or a thrown bat could enter the stands and do them a damage. 1
In the beginning they knew this because they could see wee Willie clonked in the head by a bat and immediately put 2 and 2 together. In later decades – due to global dumbing – they knew this because it was printed on the back of every MLB ticket sold in America.2 3
Apparently the days of common sense combined with a healthy personal safety awareness are insufficient; someone must do something!
So of course a lawyer got involved.
Can Congress be far behind? 4
- This is NOT the same thing as a foul ball arcing directly into their outstretched hands, forever to be treasured. Not the same thing at all; ask any fan. ↩
- WARNING: By attending the baseball game (“Game”), the ticket holder (“Holder”) assumes all risk and danger incidental to the Game, and all other activities, promotions or events at Progressive Field (“Ballpark”) before, during or after the Game (“Game Events”), including, but not limited to, the danger of being injured by equipment, objects or persons entering spectator areas (“Risks”), and further acknowledges that attendance at the Game and Game Events is voluntary, and hereby releases, to the furthest extent permitted by law, the Cleveland Indians Baseball Company Limited Partnership (“Indians”), Gateway Economic Development Corporation of Greater Cleveland, Tickets.com, Inc., and all entities and affiliates associated with Major League Baseball (“MLB”) together with their respective agents, players, officers, employees and owners for injuries or loss of personal property resulting from such Risks or any incidents associated with crowds of people. If Holder is accompanying a minor(s) to the Game, by allowing the minor(s) to attend the Game with Holder, Holder is deemed to have given all of the foregoing releases and waivers on behalf of such minor(s). If Holder does not wish to or is not authorized to grant such releases and waivers on behalf of the accompanied minor(s), Holder should immediately accompany the minor(s) out of the Ballpark. The Holder and any accompanying minor(s) are admitted to the Ballpark on condition that the Holder consents to the releases contained herein. ↩
- Actual verbiage printed on the backs of tickets sold to Cleveland Indians fans. ↩
- Believe they’re busy discussing netting for all the GOP presidential primary candidates at the moment. The hold-up –of course there’s a hold-up– is Congress wants to send the motion to a sub-committee for further study. The Donald objects, saying “Just fuckin’ do it already! Hell, subcontract it out to me and I’ll have it and that damned wall along the Mexican border completed before the end of the year.” We assume the subject will soon be in good hands. ↩