Cthulhu For President

If Bernie doesn’t get the Democrat’s nod, I’ll be backing Cthulhu:

Cthulhu For President

Cthulhu emerged from the black depths of the Pacific Ocean and proceeded to answer questions about hot button issues such as gun control, Obamacare, and how to handle the growing threat of ISIS.

Though the aquatic deity’s presence drove most of the reporters insane, a few were able to stave off the madness long enough to report that Cthulhu’s plan to handle ISIS involves unraveling the very fabric of reality. “Now that’s how you handle terrorists!” said FOX News commentator Bill O’ Reilly who was covering the conference by satellite. “Just wipe ’em all out of exist-” O’Reilly started to continue before the otherworldly timber of Cthulhu’s voice caused his head to burst like a rotten melon hitting pavement…

Cthulhu For President

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