One of the perks of being royalty is the ability to drive one’s Jaguar down the Long Walk in Windsor Great Park. That may not sound like much but keep in mind no one else in Britain is allowed a car in the park. And certainly not to drive down the Long Walk, seeing as how as it’s a park and is open to gamboling families. You know, the picturesque type pushing along their prams while getting a bit of fresh air.
This past Sunday it seems one of those families was ambling along too slowly for the Queen Mum, who veered off The Long Road (undoubtedly at a James Bond-like rate of high-speed) onto the immaculately manicured lawn to avoid crushing the couple and their tiny children.
“We didn’t actually have time to get out of the way as we were in a world of our own so she had to swerve around us,” said the young mother. “Plus? Cars are not allowed in the park, so the last thing we expected was a demented granny trying to run us down.”
“Toby was pushing the trike and I was pushing Teddy’s pram when I realised what had happened,” Miss Vincent said. “I turned to him and just said “Oh my god, it’s the Queen: see how the license plates are pixilated to keep terrorists from discovering it’s the Queen Mum?.
“He was as shocked and surprised as I was. I pointed at the car and she just smiled at us and waved, totally oblivious to the near death situation.”
A spokesman from Jaguar noted that had not the Queen Mum veered away at the last instant she would not have felt the family’s bones crushed beneath the car’s wheels.
“The X-Type may appear to be ‘just’ a family wagon,” said Jaguar spokesman Christopher Albinson, “but it rides like dreams of The Empire. A family of four or a nation of sepoys – the X-type would have rolled smoothly on.”
The Queen Mum was late for church when she nearly ran the unsuspecting family down.
There was no word as to the day’s sermon.