One of Andy Borowitz’s better efforts (and they’re all, by and large, pretty freaking good to start with):
By a huge majority, Americans support laws legalizing marijuana and criminalizing Congress, according to a poll released on Thursday.
While the poll reflects a relaxation of attitudes about recreational pot use, it also suggests that many Americans now view membership in Congress as a problem ravaging the nation.
Harland Dorrinson, an activist who has spent years mobilizing support for the criminalization of Congress, said that “this poll reinforces what many of us have been saying for a long time: Congress destroys lives.”
Been thinking about emailing Andy the outline to rebuild Congress I started back in the day; I’m sure he easily could improve it.