The Palins

Like most Americans, we’re curious about the personal doings of Our Betters. You know, the national politicians whose gravitas and intellectual leanings well qualify them to lead the lumpenproletariat? Join us now as we look in on the Palins on a typical Saturday night…

The story goes like this: Bristol and Willow reportedly started to harass Corey all night so much so that Chris, the host of the party, was forced to intervene – which prompted an inebriated Bristol to throw several punches at him.

Because Bristol is the negotiator of the Palin family.

Bristol was asked to leave, but continued to punch at Chris several times, according to Political-Gates.

Bristol is nothing if not a tenacious negotiator.

Naturally, Track also got into a fight and Todd reportedly suffered a bloody nose in that altercation.

Is it just us or does Todd always seem to come off in these things like a schmuck?

The super sleuths at Wonkette made a call to the authorities to find out if this story is true.

Anita in the Anchorage Police Department’s communications office is sitting at her desk at 7:15 a.m. on Tuesday Thursday, so probs they are waiting for a whole mess of calls from Jake Tapper or whatever, and Anita confirms that a huge bloody mess of a brawl between multiple subjects took place Saturday night, and that the Palins were “present.”

However, since nobody wanted to arrest anybody else, the names of the “subjects” remain not yet released. But the investigation continues.

Where was Sarah in all of this?

Amanda Coyne reports:

It’s something to hear when Sarah screams, “Don’t you know who I am!” And it was particularly wonderful when someone in the crowd screamed back, “This isn’t some damned Hillbilly reality show!”

The whole thing sounds like a typical Grandview Saturday night..

Seriously though – isn’t it’s just as fascinating as watching the royal family? But if the Palins are serious about competing with the royals, one of them had better pop up preggars again. Preferably an unmarried Palin.


The Palins

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