KC Royals

The KC Royals: WTF?

At this point there’s no way the KC Royals don’t grab a wild card spot; not even Wal-Mart Boy or Ned “I’m New to the Game” Yost can screw this up now.

Last night I dared the dark realm of the hallway closet to retrieve my ancient Royals jersey. You know the one: plain white with blue piping, right? My name on the back over the number 5. 1 I figure to wear it a minimum 4 games 2, the first time that particular flag has fluttered in October since the Game 7 rout in ’85.

29 years? Has it really been that long since the Royals were anywhere near relevant? It seems at once longer and but the blink of an eye – the mind is funny that way. In fact, though some events from 1985 stand out in sharp relief –Ronnie Raygun (yet another American president obsessed with Iraq) had a shitpile of TOWs delivered to Iran, the Philly PD air-bombed a freaking neighbourhood, Michael Jackson bought the entire Beatles catalogue for a song and a car bomb in Lebanon killed a couple hundred folks — others occurrences have faded away.

So what did the well dressed man aspire to back then? Sadly, pastels were “in.”
1985 fashion
Women had it marginally better (if you discount the whole decade of Big Hair thing):
1985-women
Also in 1985 –

  • 25,000 people died when Nevado del Ruiz erupted
  • We were introduced to Gorby
  • Mexico City was hit by a massive earthquake killing over 9,000
  • NEW Coke was introduced 3
  • We Are The World was released
  • Something called Duran Duran was inexplicably popular
  • Mad Max endured yet another desert diaspora
  • Wilfred Brimley was relevant for the first and last time
  • Five years late the FDA approved a test for AIDS
  • The Brits discovered the hole in our ozone layer
  • CDs were introduced 4
  • M$ released Windows 1.0
  • The first .com domain name is registered: symbolics.com
  • Ronnie Raygun announced his Star Wars effort
  • A gallon of gas went for about $1.09
  • Bacon was $1.67 a pound
  • USPS stamps (still relevant back then, kids!) went for 22 cents each

Damn that was depressing; to hell with looking back.

30 years from now, someone remind me not to do another what we were like post.

And to get a new jersey – I expect this one will be in tatters then.

What KC Royals

Show 4 footnotes

  1. Yeah yeah yeah, I know.
  2. No, I didn’t buy tickets, per my Royals rant back in ’07. I will, however, watch on teh tv.
  3. And quietly disappeared a few months later.
  4. Simultaneously Betamax aficionados quietly wept.

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