iWatch: what the well-dressed nudist will soon be wearing –

A leading British naturist, apparently speaking on behalf of millions of clothing-optional Britons, has welcomed the debut of the Apple iWatch and claimed the nude folk of Albion will soon be happily clasping it on.

Andrew Welch, spokesman for British Naturism (BN) and Young British Naturism (YBN), said his birthday-suited compatriots would happily don wearable technology, even if they weren’t wearing anything else. However the primary attraction is not – as some have theorised – the fact that nudists have nowhere to carry their phones or other internet devices, but rather the fact that i- or e-Watches in general do not have built-in cameras.

Welch’s organisation has estimated that up to four million Brits are naturists, meaning that one in 15 Blightonians are willing to drop their clobber in public.

…He pooh-poohed the thought that a smartwatch would be useful to nudists because they have no pockets to carry around a computer or phone, describing this assumption “a joke radio broadcasters make”.

“Most people have a bag they carry around, so it doesn’t present any kind of problem,” he continued. “Our environments are generally safe, so most people have no hesitation dropping their stuff on the lawn – don’t laugh – including valuable items.”

Key to the attractiveness of the iWatch is the fact it does not come with a camera, the nude supremo added.

“There are people who try to infiltrate our meetings to take surreptitious photographs, which is exacerbated by the ease of taking snaps using phones. Taking away that ability would be a benefit, because with the iWatch you don’t have that fear.”


Something to say...?