Cycling

We spent the 80’s cycling around Denver. As in…that was our sole transportation.

No matter; even then Denver had bike lanes and a trail system that wound throughout the city. Denver was well used to cyclists: either in the heart of town or packs of cyclists screaming down 8000 foot mountain hairpin curves. 1

Cycling and Kansas City, on the other hand, get along as well as the Israelis and the Hamas. 2

There is no objective reason for this. After all it’s not as though Kansas City’s streets are any narrower than Denver’s. No, mostly it’s a matter of bringing a populace’s hidebound, 1950’s attitude up to at least the 1980’s. 3 And the best way to do that is to put a well-known face on cycling, someone with whom Kansas City can easily identify. Who better than Mayor James?

Bike Share KC does a reasonable job promoting cycling, but they could do more: imagine Kris Ketz and Mayor James on a tandem cycle, “cruising” about town while Ketz interviewed the Mayor? 4 That would go a long way to promoting cycling in Kansas city.

And we don’t want to hear diddly about how busy the Mayor is: if The Mayor of London could ride tandem with a reporter from the BBC, Sly could take an hour to promote Kansas City cycling with Ketz.

We mean, it couldn’t be near as embarrassing as “dancing” for the GOP, n’est-ce pas5

Mayor James Cycling

Show 5 footnotes

  1. That last could be unsettling the first time you came upon it: should one deftly maneuver around the pack and hope a semi wasn’t crawling up the mountain around the next hairpin curve? Or should one noodge the trailing cyclist with the car’s front fender, thereby scattering a scree of riders? Surprisingly very few cyclists, as a percentage of the whole, were ever struck. Invariably, those riders involved had themselves to blame: carelessness or outright foolhardy behavior as the root cause. Those handful of instances where a driver, through inattention or mental instability, had caused the injury were dealt with promptly and harshly, guaranteeing a reasonable accommodation for all.
  2. Which is to say (for those of you not paying attention) not at all.
  3. Though this time? We can do without the whole big hair phenomena, okay?
  4. Please, this is a class publication: no whale jokes.
  5. Which, we would gently remind Sly, got Kansas City exactly bupkis.

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