Lost

So the official story is Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 fell into the ocean.

“We have to assume beyond any reasonable doubt that MH370 has been lost and that none of those on board survived,” Malaysian Airlines told family members of the missing passengers.

A reasonable assumption to be sure, though not one surviving family members 1 are wont to accept. Find us some wreckage, they say; the ocean is only ten to twenty thousand feet deep in that area, show us proof of their oblivion.

We also think the Malaysian Airlines announcement premature.

We don’t want to see bodies or the black box, but we’d sure like to know if anyone’s asked J. J. Abrams where the plane might be.

And what of Rome? Did the Catholic church send an investigative team to rule out the possibility that MH370’s passengers had been Raptured? 2 If not, why not? 3

Answers, damnit. Give us answers!

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Show 3 footnotes

  1. One of the English language’s odder constructs: “He is survived by his wife of 20 years…”, as though the wife was lucky to escape the clutches of the landslide that did him in (she was shopping across town that day.) Same for the relative’s of MH370’s passengers – what damned good luck they all managed to survive the plane’s disappearance.
  2. We mentioned this yesterday to one of the office’s Xristian Xrazys and thought his head might explode.
  3. It’s not as though the Holy See is overly busy investigating their endless child molestation/rape problem.

2 Replies to “Lost”

  1. A few days after this happened I was at a party with a guy who works (granted, in the marketing department) at a major US airline. It was his considered opinion that the Obama Administration probably shot the plane down at the advice of the NSA.

    Not sayin’ I agree with that. But it does seem more likely than a sudden, highly localized Rapture even and/or gravity failure.

    1. I don’t know: they say Gawd sees everything, even to the littlest bird falling from the sky…

      Of course He’s somehow managed to turn a blind eye to his church fucking children, torturing women (’cause they were witches) and mass homicide the last several hundred years in His name, so maybe Satan snatched them all up.

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