Vagina Gun

Though there is nothing new under the heaven-spanning branches of Yggdrasil, we find on occasion we can still be nonplussed: certain things just make no sense.

Take the following appellation: Jenny McCarthy.

Sounds innocuous enough, right?

Yet the name conjurs up one of this decade’s leading whack jobs; if any single woman could suffer from vaccine induced vagina dentata, it’s Jenny McCarthy. She’s frothy.

So we weren’t all that surprised to read the following:

A domestic dispute over space aliens escalated Saturday morning when a lingerie-clad New Mexico woman allegedly pointed a silver handgun at her boyfriend, a weapon she retrieved from her vagina, where it had been placed while the accused was performing a sex act, police allege.

Sounds like something McCarthy would do…then claim childhood inoculations accounted for her bizarre behavior.

Except it wasn’t Jenny McCarthy, but Jennifer McCarthy:

To make matters more strange, the arrested woman is the most recent ex-wife of Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist Cormac McCarthy, author of “The Road” and “No Country for Old Men.”

[…]

McCarthy’s boyfriend told investigators that following the argument McCarthy departed her Aventura Road residence. Upon returning to the home, he told deputies, McCarthy went into her bedroom and later emerged “wearing lingerie and a silver handgun in her vagina.” She then proceeded to “have inner course with the gun,” according to the court filing.

While using the gat as a sex toy, McCarthy reportedly asked her boyfriend, “Who is crazy, you or me?” The probable cause statement, drafted by Deputy Chris Zook, does not indicate whether McCarthy’s boyfriend dared to answer that query.

Must be the name, huh? 1 2

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Show 2 footnotes

  1. This bit of mise-en-scène could have been pulled directly from Cormac’s Blood Meridian, perhaps after Chihuahua, when the kid has his fortune read when the Clanton gang meets the gypsies (for surely they were); the kid half watching the tarot cards fall, half watching the obviously insane woman slowly inserting a silver revolver up her vagina, withdrawing, inserting it, withdrawing it, inserting… Easy to ignore or miss the reading’s message only to die, decades later, at the hands of a naked, hairless fat man while shitting in a Fort Griffin, Texas, outhouse. Oh these worlds…
  2. Of course none of the commenters can play it straight. Could you?

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