A WNBTv Public Service Announcement

It looks as though an intelligence primer for bloggers is in order.

WNBTv has received scads of emails asking how to dissuade both the FBI and the NSA (via the good offices of ECHELON and PRISM) 1 from monitoring one’s web site.

The short answer? There is no way. If one of the alphabet agencies wants to monitor, wiretap or even hack your web site, that’s gonna happen, no ifs, ands or buts. Get over it.

However, you can lessen your chances of coming to any of the alphabet agencies’ notice by never using any of the following words/phrases:

Stormfront Waihopai INFOSEC Information Security Information Warfare IW IS Priavacy Information Terrorism Defensive Information Defense Information Warfare Offensive Information Offensive Information poppy fields forever Warfare National Information Infrastructure InfoSec Reno Compsec Firewalls Secure Internet Connections ISS Passwords DefCon V Hackers Encryption Espionage USDOJ NSA CIA S/Key SSL FBI Secert Service USSS Defcon Military White House Undercover NCCS Mayfly PGP PEM RSA Perl-RSA MSNBC bet AOL AOL TOS CIS CBOT AIMSX STARLAN 3B2 BITNET COSMOS DATTA E911 FCIC HTCIA IACIS UT/RUS JANET JICC ReMOB LEETAC Boom goes the dynomite UTU VNET BRLO BZ CANSLO CBNRC CIDA JAVA Active X Compsec 97 LLC DERA Mavricks Meta-hackers ^? Steve Case Tools Telex Military Intelligence Scully Flame Infowar Bubba Freeh Archives Sundevil jack Investigation ISACA NCSA spook words Verisign Secure ASIO Lebed ICE NRO Lexis-Nexis NSCT SCIF FLiR Lacrosse Flashbangs HRT DIA USCOI CID BOP FINCEN FLETC NIJ ACC AFSPC BMDO NAVWAN NRL RL NAVWCWPNS NSWC USAFA AHPCRC ARPA LABLINK USACIL USCG NRC ~ CDC DOE FMS HPCC NTIS SEL USCODE CISE SIRC CIM ISN DJC SGC UNCPCJ CFC DREO CDA DRA SHAPE SACLANT BECCA DCJFTF HALO PCP HAHO FKS 868 GCHQ DITSA SORT AMEMB NSG HIC EDI SAS SBS UDT GOE DOE GEO Masuda Forte AT GIGN Exon Shell CQB CONUS CTU RCMP GRU SASR GSG-9 22nd SAS GEOS EADA BBE STEP Echelon Dictionary MD2 MD4 MDA MYK 747777 767 MI5 737 MI6 757 Kh-11 Shayet-13 SADMS Spetznaz Recce 707 CIO NOCS Halcon Duress RAID Psyops grom D-11 SERT VIP ARC S.E.T. Team MP5k DREC DEVGRP DF DSD FDM GRU LRTS SIGDEV NACSI PSAC PTT RFI SIGDASYS TDM. SUKLO SUSLO TELINT TEXTA. ELF LF MF VHF UHF SHF SASP WANK Colonel domestic disruption smuggle 15kg nitrate Pretoria M-14 enigma Bletchley Park Clandestine nkvd argus afsatcom CQB NVD Counter Security Rapid Reaction Corporate Security Police sniper PPS ASIS ASLET TSCM Security Consulting High Security Security Evaluation Electronic Surveillance MI-17 Counterterrorism spies eavesdropping debugging interception COCOT rhost rhosts SETA Amherst Broadside Capricorn Gamma Gorizont Guppy Ionosphere Mole Keyhole Kilderkin Artichoke Badger pot p0t marijuana m@riju@n@ toot blow heroin meth uppers LSD PCP TSA LAX JFK Willard €œThe Rat € Romney Barry Obama purple file jack paul ryan kidnap bribe David Charles Baker for POTUS Cornflower Daisy Egret Iris Hollyhock Jasmine Juile Vinnell B.D.M.Sphinx Stephanie Reflection Spoke Talent Trump FX FXR IMF POCSAG Covert Video Intiso r00t lock picking Beyond Hope csystems passwd 2600 Magazine Competitor EO Chan Alouetteexecutive Event Security Mace Cap-Stun stakeout ninja ASIS ISA EOD Oscor Merlin NTT SL-1 Rolm TIE Tie-fighter PBX SLI NTT MSCJ MIT 69 RIT Time MSEE Cable & Wireless CSE Embassy ETA Porno Fax finks Fax encryption white noise pink noise CRA M.P.R.I. top secret Mossberg 50BMG Macintosh Security Macintosh Internet Security Macintosh Firewalls Unix Security VIP Protection SIG sweep Medco TRD TDR sweeping TELINT Audiotel Harvard 1080H SWS Asset Satellite imagery force Cypherpunks Coderpunks TRW remailers replay redheads RX-7 explicit FLAME Pornstars AVN Playboy Anonymous Sex chaining codes Nuclear 20 subversives SLIP toad fish data havens unix c a b d the Elvis quiche DES 1* NATIA NATOA sneakers counterintelligence industrial espionage PI TSCI industrial intelligence H.N.P. Juiliett Class Submarine Locks loch Ingram Mac-10 sigvoice ssa E.O.D. SEMTEX penrep racal OTP OSS Blowpipe CCS GSA Kilo Class squib primacord RSP Becker Nerd fangs Austin Comirex GPMG Speakeasy humint GEODSS SORO M5 ANC zone SBI DSS S.A.I.C. Minox Keyhole SAR Rand Corporation Wackenhutt EO Wackendude mol Hillal GGL CTU botux Virii CCC Blacklisted 411 Internet Underground XS4ALL Retinal Fetish Fetish Yobie CTP CATO Phon-e Chicago Posse l0ck spook keywords PLA TDYC W3 CUD CdC Weekly World News Zen World Psilocybin Mushroom Domination XTC G-Man Dead Opium Guard Methamphetamine GRU M72750 Salsa 7 Blowfish Gorelick Glock Ft. Meade press-release Indigo wire transfer e-cash Bubba the Love Sponge Digicash zip SWAT Ortega PPP crypto-anarchy AT&T SGI SUN MCI Blacknet Middleman KLM Blackbird plutonium Texas jihad SDI Uzi Fort Meade supercomputer bullion 3 Blackmednet Propaganda ABC Satellite phones Planet-1 cryptanalysis nuclear FBI Panama fissionable Sears Tower NORAD Delta Force SEAL virtual Dolch secure shell screws Black-Ops Area51 SABC basement data-haven black-bag TEMPSET Goodwin rebels ID MD5 IDEA garbage market beef Stego unclassified utopia orthodox Alica SHA Global gorilla Bob Pseudonyms MITM Gray Data VLSI mega Leitrim Yakima Sugar Grove Cowboy Gist 8182 Gatt Platform 1911 Geraldton UKUSA veggie 3848 Morwenstow Consul Oratory Pine Gap Menwith Mantis DSD BVD 1984 Flintlock cybercash government hate speedbump illuminati president freedom cocaine $ Roswell ESN COS E.T. credit card b9 fraud assasinate virus anarchy rogue mailbomb 888 Chelsea 1997 Whitewater MOD York plutonium William Gates clone BATF SGDN Nike Atlas Delta TWA Kiwi PGP 2.6.2. PGP 5.0i PGP 5.1 siliconpimp Lynch 414 Face Pixar IRIDF eternity server Skytel GMC Yukon XL 2500 SLT SUV BEST ON EARTH except for shoddy €œfail at 100K parts € GM installs Templeton LUK Cohiba Soros Standford niche 51 H&K USP ^ sardine bank EUB USP PCS NRO Red Cell Glock 26 snuffle Patel package ISI INR INS IRS GRU RUOP GSS NSP SRI Ronco Armani BOSS Chobetsu FBIS BND SISDE FSB BfV IB froglegs JITEM SADF advise TUSA HoHoCon SISMI FIS MSW Spyderco UOP SSCI NIMA MOIS SVR SIN advisors SAP OAU PFS Aladdin chameleon man Hutsul CESID Bess rail gun Peering 17 312 NB CBM CTP Sardine SBIRS SGDN ADIU DEADBEEF IDP IDF snakehead Halibut SONANGOL Flu & Loin PGP 5.53 EG&G AIEWS AMW WORM MP5K-SD 1071 WINGS cdi DynCorp UXO Ti THAAD package chosen PRIME SURVIACUFO U.S. Consulate Consulado El Paso Fort Hancock San Diego Ciudad Juarez Nogales Sonora Colombia Mara salvatrucha MS13 MS-13 Drug war Mexican army www.davidbaker.XXX/images Methamphetamine Cartel de Golfo Gulf Cartel La Familia Reynose Nuevo Leon Narcos Narco banners Los Zetas Shootout Execution Gunfight Trafficking Kidnap Calderon Reyosa Bust Tamaulipas Meth Lab Drug trade Illegal fun guy immigrants Smuggling smugglers Matamoros Michoacana Guzman Arellano-Felix Beltran-Leyva Barrio Azteca Artistics Assassins Mexicles New Federation Terrorism Al Queda Al Qaeda Al Ciada Terror Attack Iraq Afghanistan Iran Pakistan Agro Environmental eco terrorist Conventional weapon Nationalist Israel Jew truth propaganda Target Weapons grade Dirty sanchez bomb Enriched wheat Nuclear Chemical weapon Biological weapon Ammonium nitrate Improvised explosive device IED Abu Sayyaf Hamas FARC (Armed Revolutionary Forces Colombia) IRA (Irish Republican Army) ETA (Euskadi ta Askatasuna) Basque Separatists Hezbollah Tamil Tiger PLF (Palestine Liberation Front) PLO (Palestine Libration Organization) I €™m sorry I got in to a fight in the middle of your Black Panther Party Car bomb Jihad Taliban Weapons cache Suicide bomber Suspicious substance AQAP (Al Qaeda Arabian Peninsula) AQIM (Al Qaeda in the Islamic Maghreb) TTP (Tehrik-i-Taliban Pakistan) Yemen Pirates Extremism Somalia Nigeria Radicals Al-Shabaab Home grown Plot Nationalist Recruitment Fundamentalist Islamist Weather Disaster Emergency Hurricane Tornado Twister Tsunami Earthquake Tremor Flood Storm Crest Temblor Extreme weather Forest fire Brush fire Ice Stranded/Stuck Help Hail Wildfire Tsunami Warning Center Magnitude Avalanche Typhoon Shelter-in-place Snow Blizzard Sleet Mud slide Mudslide Erosion Power outage Brown out Warning Watch Lightening Aid Relief Closure Interstate Burst Emergency Broadcast System Botnet DDOS (dedicated denial of service) Denial of service Malware Virus Trojan Keylogger 2600 Spammer Phishing Rootkit Phreaking Cain and abel Brute forcing Mysql injection Cyber terror Hacker China Conficker Worm Scammers Suspecious Social media 2 3 4

This is a fairly old, though accurate, list. For a more up-to-date list, as presented (against their will) by Homeland Security themselves, go here.

This has been a WNBTv Public Service Announcement.

Show 4 footnotes

  1. …nothing will dissuade either the CIA or the ISA from hacking your shit, regardless that they’re not authorized to do so in the US. Just grin and bear it.
  2. It’s not noted here but it goes without saying that threatening any harm to any sitting politician will not only get you on a list, it may get you a visit or two from one of the alphabet agencies. Or worse. DON’T DO THAT.
  3. Also? You should never say any of this stuff on the phone. In fact, to be totally secure…don’t use a phone. Period.
  4. My favorite of the words/phrases? “Scully” …guessin’ someone still has a thing for the redhead, huh?

4 Replies to “A WNBTv Public Service Announcement”

  1. Although this is useful, it isn’t nearly as useful as it could have been if you hadn’t gone all James Joyce on us and thrown in some commas to delineate one text string from another. I mean, it’s not that unusual for people to use terms like “WANK”, ” Artichoke Badger”, and “Dirty sanchez” in everyday conversation. Pretty typical stuff!

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