Zeroing Out the EPROMs

ARLINGTON, VA €” The Department of the Army announced Wednesday they are determined to eliminate all operational memory from more than a decade of fighting the Global War on Terror.

Secretary of the Army John McHugh made it clear that these kind of cuts were necessary in the post-Afghanistan Army, despite having troops deployed in the field. €œThe Army has acquired a lot of useless knowledge that we €™re currently in the process of purging from our data banks in the Pentagon, € McHugh said.

Cuts to personnel have been the Army €™s greatest reduction of all, as mid-level officers and NCOs alike have fled the Army €™s bureaucracy in droves.

€œPersonnel cuts and a hiring freeze are set to take effect. It €™s a good start. € said Assistant Secretary of the Army Thomas Lamont. €œWe have to go further however, and branches like the Army have to realize they €™ve had it easy with learning invaluable lessons in counter-terrorism and counterinsurgency. €

Lamont stressed that once finished, the Army wouldn €™t even remember having fought such a conflict.

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