Albeit one that countenances the Elves’ use (or purported use) of cattle prods on the reindeer. And is said to never notice the gamy taste of the meat on “steak” nights.
From the git-go one suspects that the new Santa’s duties will go like this:
- Get the world out of the Vatican’s private affairs (straighten up the bank mess.)
- Reaffirm core beliefs in superstition
- Deny deny deny hey! look at THIS hand… (clergy child rape and child sexual molestation)
- Keep that money comin’ in, folks!
- Maintain power.
In other words, same as it ever was.
All the above should be relatively easy; the world’s children are eager to go back to believing in their ‘life after death’ present. If a few reindeer testicles are mashed (or missing), if a few actual children’s lives are ruined, what is that in the grand scheme of things? 1 2
- I got news for you; if my child had been part of the latest local clergy-child sexual exploits, I would have drug Bishop Finn out of that pile of bricks on 9th St. and horsewhipped him until his robes were tattered and flowing with blood. And I’m still surprised it hasn’t happened. What could one possibly be waiting for — an honest Pope? ↩
- Oh…and work sucks. Everyone is desperately trying to cram the next six months worth of work into the next sixty days. Yeah, like that. ↩