No, what I was really thinking was – the Pope’s infallible, right?
So why the hell are a bunch of fallible Cardinals 1 going to select the next
head pedophile Pope?
Does that make any sense to you? Me neither. 2
- No, not the damned redbirds – grown men; they call them cardinals. No I don’t know why. Something to do with the long, luxurious crimson capes they wear. That’s right – I said capes: grown men (prancing around) in red capes. No, I don’t know if they’re only in their underwear when they prance around in their capes. Quit asking, okay? ↩
- Apparently the current Clod of Cardinals is having a difficult time selecting a successor to Benedict XVI. As such, and in keeping with the times, the Vatican has decided to consult its constituency: practising Catholics, who have taken Confession within the last 48 hours, may suggest a successor at 1-347-269-0682. This is strictly a voice-mail number. However those devouts who wish to make their selection known in person may dial 1-415-287-3427 where, when available, a Cardinal will take your call. Both numbers are supposed to be toll-free. ↩