Fan Mail From Some Flounder

Nick Karls,

Get Any Woman
If you want to learn how to turn on any woman in the world, then we will help you make this happen…get ready, because once we teach you how to do this, there is no turning back. There are 3 questions that will turn on any woman right after they hear them.

You are 1 of 3 people selected to watch a very important video. After you watch it you will know the secret on how to make any woman in the world want to be with you.

3 questions that get all women horny

It’s so CRAZY how turned on women become after they hear these three questions, and it makes them incredibly addicted to you.

3 questions that get all women excited!

(unsigned)

Dear (unsigned)

First off…is there any way you’ll tell me the names of the other 2 people selected to watch that video? No harm will come to them; I’m just curious as to what type of nut-basket I’ve landed in.

Second…this felt like a complete rip: I never even heard the 3 questions that get all women horny! If you’re going to direct me to the world’s schmaltziest song video 1 at least pretend it might answer those questions.

Third…why 3 questions? Why not 5 questions that get all women excited? Or 7? Or 1 for that matter?

Also? What do you mean by excited? Are the women going to be all “oh sweet jebus! i just hit thepowerball, i’m set for life sure i’ll blow you” excited? Or just “you remembered to pick up the kids from school AND the dry-cleaning!!” excited? You see the difference? No, you probably don’t…

Finally, what do you mean by “…addicted to you”? Isn’t it dangerous for women to be addicted to me? Won’t they go through some sort of agonizing withdrawal when I (inevitably) lose interest in them and block their cell numbers?

Those are just a few queries you might try and respond to the next time you email. …’cause I have this feeling you are going to email me again, right?

Regards,
Nick

p.s. – these 3 questions wouldn’t also happen to be available in a handy 2 oz, easy to use phemerone spray, would they? ’cause then I wouldn’t have to talk to women at all – they could just, I dunno, adore me or something.

WNBTv - Good TV!

Show 1 footnote

  1. Seriously – who is Richard Marx? The comments made it sound like I should have heard of him and I never have. Pure pap; ugh.

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