The Show Must Go On

Other Circumstances Under Which The KC Chiefs Would Play Today 1

Kasandra Perkins disappears
Kasandra Perkins suffers fatal accident
Kasandra Perkins suicides
Kasandra Perkins murdered by unknown assailant
Kasandra Perkins murdered by (other) known assailant
Javon Belcher disappears
Javon Belcher suffers fatal accident
Javon Belcher suicides (at home)
Javon Belcher murdered by unknown assailant
Javon Belcher murdered by (other) known assailant
Eldon Eugene Campbell Jr killed by assailant other than his wife
KC murder victims 102-105 all occur prior Saturday night
Derrick Thomas reappears
Derrick Thomas reappears then disappears
Derrick Thomas reappears then suffers fatal accident
Derrick Thomas reappears then suicides (at home)
Derrick Thomas reappears then suicides (at Chief’s facility)
Derrick Thomas reappears then murdered by unknown assailant
Derrick Thomas reappears then murdered by Javon Belcher
Javon Belcher murdered by Derrick Thomas
Derrick Thomas and Javon Belcher die in stupid car accident by MCI
Kyle James murders reappeared Derrick Thomas (then raps about it)
Kyle James murders Sly James (but is too “emotional” to rap about it)
Sly James and entire administration dies in “freak” rapping accident surprisingly involving many handguns
Texas shoots self, actually secedes from union; the rest of America breaths sigh of relief
Mitt Romney realizes he shot himself (much, much earlier in the year) 2

The chief business of the American people is business
                                                      – CALVIN COOLIDGE

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Show 2 footnotes

  1. If by “play”, one means “show up, lose and collect a paycheck.”
  2. China could pull an actual Red Dawn and the Chiefs would play today. Sure, the game might well be pre-empted by a national address from President Obama, but sure as Thor made little silver hammers, people would call in to the station to complain.

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