Stupid is everywhere.
Back in Maryland the stupid recently possessed a General Assembly delegate, one Mr. Emmett C. Burns Jr. Junior worked himself into a right snit and then, after appropriating some of the GA’s stationary, penned a virtual ode to stupidity and proceeded to mail it to Baltimore Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti –
As a Delegate to the Maryland General Assembly and a Baltimore Ravens Football fan, I find it inconceivable that one of your players, Mr. Brendon Ayanbadejo, would publicly endorse Same-Sex marriage, specifically, as a Raven Football player. Many of my constituents and your football supporters are appalled and aghast that a member of the Ravens Football Team would step into this controversial divide and try to sway public opinion one way or the other. 1
The most literate and bone-jarring hit came for Chris Kluwe, a punter for Thor’s sake, for the Minnesota Vikings:
As I suspect you have not read the Constitution, I would like to remind you that the very first, the VERY FIRST Amendment in this founding document deals with the freedom of speech, particularly the abridgment of said freedom. By using your position as an elected official (when referring to your constituents so as to implicitly threaten the Ravens organization) to state that the Ravens should “inhibit such expressions from your employees,” more specifically Brendon Ayanbadejo, not only are you clearly violating the First Amendment, you also come across as a narcissistic fromunda stain. What on earth would possess you to be so mind-boggingly stupid? It baffles me that a man such as yourself, a man who relies on that same First Amendment to pursue your own religious studies without fear of persecution from the state, could somehow justify stifling another person’s right to speech. To call that hypocritical would be to do a disservice to the word. Mindfucking obscenely hypocritical starts to approach it a little bit. 3
Here’s to Ayanbadejo.
And…yo! Go Vikings!!!!!!
- The only possibly defense here, aside from the well known 5-2-4 or, you know, teh stoopid, is age. Junior is 72 and that’s when things like early onset
stupidityAlzheimer’s and the like first present. ↩
- And in keeping with what we expect from linebackers; more to type than not. Though I certainly have no intention of pointing out syntax abuse to the gentleman. ↩
- Again proving that punters, not quarterbacks, are generally the most intelligent players on any football team. Not to mention some of the most vicious hitters. ↩