How to write a bestseller

  1. Find a hammer. It is key to have this later on in the process. 
  2. Fill yourself up with as much hormonal angst as possible. You’re going to need enough to be boiling and making you almost a psychotic sociopath.
  3. Now, look at a lot of porn, but don’t masturbate. You’re adding unrealistic pent up lust to the equation, it’s key for these bestsellers

The rest reads the same. Black irony or simply instructive; it works both ways.

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