I am Timothy Geithner

Good day to you, I am Timothy Geithner, 1 Secretary of the United States National Treasury. The United Nations has given me an Instruction 2 also with the World Bank to wire a sum of $5m into your Bank Account in a Legal way 3 that is why I have contacted you the United States Department of Justice, The Attorney Eric H. Holder Jr will get some documents for you so that this Transaction can be completed without delay. 4

the following documents needed are as follows.

1: United Nations Stop Order Document
2: World Bank Clearance Certificate
3: President’s Approval Letter 5
4: Proof of Ownership Certificate.

These four documents are needed before I can proceed with the transfer into your bank account in the meantime; I want you to confirm the following details to me.

Legal First and Last Name
Complete Residential Address & Age
Direct Telephone No & Fax
Legal Occupation and Position
Address of Occupation

Please get back to me as soon as possible so we can be done as soon as possible, the President of the United States (President Barack Obama) visited Nashville yesterday 6 so I was nOt able to get his Approval Certificate from his office. so try and reach me back via my Personal Email and Note that you can reach me faster via my personal email. 7

Thanks and God Bless you

Mr.Timothy Geithner.
Executive Secretary United States Treasury
Main Treasury 1500 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington, D.C. 20220
Fax: (202) 622-6415 8 9

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Show 9 footnotes

  1. Unlikely, but maybe it’s just an artifact of the Early Times and Vicodin, in which case it’s “real” enough.
  2. Possibly using a cane.
  3. Far less exciting than an illegal way, but one takes what one can get…
  4. Because Holder is my personal biatch.
  5. That one may be a little dicey.
  6. Okay – that’s a problem; I happen to know the President of the United States (President Barack Obama) was at a fish fry in South Philly yesterday sucking down Bud Lights like nobody’s business. Next time try something more generic, like “…the President of the United States (President Barack Obama) was otherwise engaged with Mrs. Obama yesterday.” That’s far more believable.
  7. How should I reach you? Perhaps via your personal email?
  8. Actual FAX number!!!!
  9. Wonder if there is any money in writing comprehensible spam? And who, come to think of it, would one approach in order to negotiate the position? Should you be interested in giving your spam that ol’ 3rd Grade Class, send serious inquiries only to WillWHoreForToys AT willnotbetelevised DOT com

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