Someone will be right there to assist you, Sir.

We wrote last month about a new roadable airplane that just debuted at this year’s New York Auto Show: it appears to be the perfect gift for that 1%-er in your life.

But the more we considered the more we realized the vehicle was missing…something. What this might be eluded us; we couldn’t quite put a finger on it. Then it hit us.

A “black box.”

Should the carplane stall out before Sag Harbour and auger into Shelter Island Sound, inviting Biff and Buffy down for an unusual lobster feast, it would be nice -undertows permitting- to at least recover the ‘black box’, if only so the lawyers know whom to sue.

Comes now the United States Congress, ever ready to serve its fellow millionaires citizens with a bill (signed off by the Senate already) to make that ‘black box’ mandatory…on every new car manufactured in the United States from 2015 onward.

Whoa, Nelly!, you say. We don’t have to worry about (normal) cars falling out of the skies. Step off, Congress!

Too late. Within the next encroachment on our civil rights comes  MAP-21 1,  specificaly Section 31406 of Senate Bill 1813, which calls for “Mandatory Event Data Recorders” to be installed in every new automobile. Of course it includes penalties for failure to comply.

“Not later than 180 days after the date of enactment of this Act, the Secretary shall revise part 563 of title 49, Code of Federal Regulations, to require, beginning with model year 2015, that new passenger motor vehicles sold in the United States be equipped with an event data recorder that meets the requirements under that part.”

Reading the bill it appears that said data should remain the property of the vehicle’s owner, with the government being able to access it only in certain circumstances; court order, if the owner consents to make it available, and pursuant to an investigation or inspection conducted by the Secretary of Transportation.

Uh huh. Anyone who believes that crock of shit probably also believes you can find sporting goods online by searching dicks.com.

If you read more closesly you discover the same bill also includes a provision to empower the IRS to revoke passports of citizens merely accused of owing  $50K or more in back taxes, and to  strip them of their mobility rights.

So, add this to biometric face-pattern recognition, sensor technology that prevents sots from driving (by disabling the automobile) as well as systems that refuse to allow the vehicle to start if the driver is deemed to be ‘overtired.’

What do you have?

Well, the provisional ‘right’ to drive a vehicle -you undoubtedly paid too  much for- only when the the State had determined from an eye scan that you had paid all your taxes, were not repugnant, or drinking or overly tired. Further the car would report your every move and location.

For your own protection.

 Wake up people.

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Show 1 footnote

  1. The full title of which is – ‘Moving Ahead for Progress in the 21st Century Act’. Seriously? Fuckin’ cocksuckers…

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