Pepper Binky

Earlier this month a new episode of the hit reality show (that’s taking America by storm!), Adventures of Campus Cops, aired to much critical acclaim.

That week’s story was set in sunny Cali where less than 30 students had decided to protest recent tuition hikes at Santa Monica College. Their course of action? Attend a board of trustee’s meeting. The conflict? Campus cops who saw that strategy as ‘storming’. The results? Priceless.

In defending the Trustees from the ‘mob’ intent on ‘storming’ the gates of the Bastille board meeting, the SMC cops made a spur of the moment tactical decision 1 – they would use pepper spray. On everyone.

We mean   E   V   E   R   Y   O   N   E. Even, in point of fact, 4 year old toddlers.

Great TV! 2

It hurts, Mommy!
Mommy, why did officer Friendly spray fire in my eyes? Because he's a fascist pig, honey.

WNBTv - Good TV!

Show 2 footnotes

  1. As oppossed to a “pre-planned and well considered strategy” wherein everyone would have had a chance to review such past actions and their likely inadvertant outcomes.
  2. We’ve got our crack WNBTv research team sniffing down the seamy legal trail of whether or not all California campus police are required to undergo pepper spray training and, if so, are they specifically trained to use it on 4 year olds. Because that would seem a daunting task to us; 4 year olds are, after all, mostly diminutive of stature and there’s really nothing harder in ballistics -trust us on this- than aiming downward. What should the right thinking campus cop do, for example, if he miscalculates and not spray the child in the eyes but on the chest? Does he take the precious extra seconds to adjust his aim and fire again? Or – and remember all this is going on during the melee that is the ‘mob’ intent on ‘storming’ the gates of the Bastille board meeting – does he swing to the next available toddler, who might be even shorter!, and take him or her down? The cop’s wardrobe, or at least his trousers, depends on this level of split-second reaction time: a toddler won’t think twice about drooling on a strangers’ pants or wiping excess peanut butter on them, costing the officer actual dollars in damages!

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