What\’s that sound? Oh…it\’s my heart.

Dastardly DickAs has been reported everyfreakingwhere, Dick Cheney, common war criminal and erstwhile Vice President of the United States, imposed a (slightly delayed) death sentence on himself last week.

This past Saturday morning Cheney, 71, received a donor heart from one of the many pigs he bought on eBay an anonymous donor and is recovering in the intensive care unit of Inova Fairfax Hospital in Falls Church, Va., 1 after the surgery.

Cheney sentenced himself to death within 5 years, perhaps even as quickly as this year. 2

While Cheney’s impending death may bring some closure to the families of over 100,000 civilian casualties of the Iraqi invasion, it is a bitter disappointment to millions of Americans who wish to see him prosecuted for his part in the illegal invasion and occupation of Iraq; Cheney’s approval and support of torture of anyone who stood in his way when he was without shotgun in Iraq has also been condemned by the international community.

However, with his new “heart” Cheney is unlikely to travel to foreign soil where he might be remanded into custody to stand trial at The Hague. 3

Odds are that Cheney will die alone in Wyoming, barricaded in his home with his beloved weapons…just another disturbed old man.

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Show 3 footnotes

  1. Falls Church is one of WDC’s many bedroom communities, with a high Federal presence. On Saturday the number of Secret Service agents undoubtedly only quadrupled the local population.
  2. According to the National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute, roughly 88% of patients survive the first year after heart transplant surgery and 75% survive for five years.
  3. Hell, the wuss won’t even go to Canada.

7 thoughts on “What\’s that sound? Oh…it\’s my heart.”

  1. Vice President Cheney has no fear of Canada – nor should he have.
    Elizabeth, his daughter, conversely, has much to fear.
    The Canadas enforce the verbal contract of marriage, be it a Same or Opposite Sex offers.
    Mistress Elizabeth done proposed to a fair Diesel Dyke during a debauched Bacchanalia at The Flying Beaver Pubaret in Cabbage Town in Toronto last year. Wanted the milk but won’t buy the cow now!
    Typical Librul Yankee!

      1. No shock, awe or early withdrawal, per se, more a surreptitious skulking out the tradesmen’s entrance, sans tail between her legs, after one or more ‘little men in the canoes’ were well and truly slapped and forsakened.

        I mean, a one-night-stand is like digging a trench, quite complete in and of itself. Why then dig a trench in the same place twice? Well, you would, of course, if you were looking for a deeper and more meaningful trench. To this I say: “Nonsense! We’ve no time for such thoughts – there’s a war going on”.

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